Wednesday, July 22, 2009

My new job is hard

And my new boss gets on my nerves sometimes.

What? I'm not allowed to say that? I should be grateful I get to stay home all day and play? I should love to be spending every waking minute with my son, because I am so lucky to be able to do so, right?

While I know I'm lucky, and I am grateful, it is also hard and sometimes I don't want to do it. Why is it ok for someone with a "real" job to complain, but it's not ok for a mom to complain? Why does the mommy guilt kick in immediately? I bet John Doe office worker guy never feels guilty when he hates his job. And he gets paid, and 2 weeks vacation, and only has to work a 40 hour week, and has weekends off.

I know it's new to me, and I'll adjust. But I have to wonder, how do women do this? How do they entertain a 15 month old all day, praying for a good nap in order to get a moment to themselves. A moment where they have to decide between doing what they want to do--surf the internet, write a blog, take a nap, take a shower (!), and what they need to do--clean, think about/prep for dinner, do laundry, exercise. And then not get another break until the kid goes to bed and you follow soon after from exhaustion.

Some days I don't want to read Planes 63 times. Some days I don't have the patience for the point and name game (he points at something in a book, grunts "uh", and I name it). Some days I don't want to chase him away from the computer or tv 17 times in an effort to teach him "no!" Some days I can't bear it if he throws his food during one more meal. Some days my head explodes when I hear him babbling 15 minutes after I put him down for a nap. Other days, in fact, most days, I can handle all of those things just fine, and he's a brilliant, adorable angel. But some days it's hard, and he's an annoying little booger. And I hate feeling that way!

I know we are still in a transitional phase, and that I'll adjust to this new job. I should love it, right? I hated working too, a lot of the time, and I've been looking forward to having this new freedom. Maybe we're still just working out what to do with all that freedom, and it will get better.

And he's awake. Barely took a nap. How does he know to do that on days like this?


  1. Yet again, I feel every word you just wrote. It does get better. The transistion of it IS rough, no question.

  2. Honestly, I don't know how SAHM mom's do it. When I have a bad day I can shut my office door and ignore the phone. You and Oliver are going to do great though!