First up, fear.
I'm happy to report that it was a very short lived phase. Or at least so far. After nap time on Friday, I asked Oliver if he wanted to visit his stuffed animals in our room and put the ones he wasn't scared of back in his room. He started tentatively, picking some very benign ones like Winnie the Pooh, his Sleep Sheep, and a cute duck. He stayed in my doorway, and would sneak in quietly and grab them and then run quickly into his room. But then the more he got, the more excited he was. Then he found the Grinch, and said, "Oh, there's the Grinch!" and grabbed him. So I asked, "I thought you were scared of the Grinch?" He answered, "I not scared anymore, Mommy." He ended up grabbing almost all the stuffed animals and putting them back. There's maybe a dozen left in our room, more because I think he got bored of the game than out of fear. But I didn't want to push it, so we'll tackle that another day. That night, as I was telling Marty the story when he got home from work, Oliver piped up, "Oliver not scared, Daddy!" Yay!
And now for regression.
Friday night, Marty and I talked about it and decided we had to just go hard core with the potty training. There was no way we could go back to diapers at this point. So we had to ramp up the training techniques. Perhaps we had gotten too confident in his abilities. We were pretty much letting him decide when he went potty, and that worked for a while, but then he just got lazy about it. So then we had to start reminding him to go, then begging, threatening, and bribing him to go. So he got stubborn and rebellious, thus leading to more accidents. A bad cycle, really.
So our new hard core plan was to go back to the timer, a new incentive toy (a Cars puzzle) so he'd get interested in getting stickers again. And the big change: naked baby! No training pants, nothing. We put towels on the furniture, and a sweatshirt on Oliver so he wouldn't get cold. We weren't planning on going anywhere much this weekend, so we could just focus on this.The idea behind naked baby is that even cotton training pants are somewhat of a comfort and they'll forget it's not a diaper and pee in it. But many kids won't just pee when they're naked, because they are so used to peeing into a pant-like item.
And it worked.
I am thrilled to report that we had an accident free weekend! Not a single drop of pee on the floor or furniture! We used the timer a lot on Saturday, but by the end of the day he was going on his own and even pooped in the potty. We didn't use the timer much today, and during nap time he called for us to help him go potty because he had pooped. Usually he just sleeps in it, so that's a step forward. We went to church this morning, and he kept his pull up dry. So I hope we are back on track, and I can keep my sanity, and he can go to preschool someday.
Showing posts with label Potty training. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Potty training. Show all posts
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Friday, March 11, 2011
Regression
I am sick of pee.
I feel like a complete failure as a parent.
I don't know what to do.
He just doesn't give a shit. He doesn't care about peeing in the potty. He doesn't care if his pants are wet. He doesn't care if he pees in his pants or on the couch or the chair or the floor. All of which he's done today. And yesterday.
I thought we had it there for a while. He went weeks without an accident. He still has days where he has few accidents or just little squirts here and there. Then we'll go days like this where it's an all out pee-fest around here.
I'm so over it.
I even did the exactly wrong thing and yelled at him. "Oliver, where does your pee go?" "In the potty," he answered. "Then why do you keep peeing everywhere else?" He didn't care. He just skipped away, singing a song. So I said, "I guess we'll have to go back to diapers, like babies wear." His response? "Okay!" sigh. I am this close.
I feel like a complete failure as a parent.
I don't know what to do.
He just doesn't give a shit. He doesn't care about peeing in the potty. He doesn't care if his pants are wet. He doesn't care if he pees in his pants or on the couch or the chair or the floor. All of which he's done today. And yesterday.
I thought we had it there for a while. He went weeks without an accident. He still has days where he has few accidents or just little squirts here and there. Then we'll go days like this where it's an all out pee-fest around here.
I'm so over it.
I even did the exactly wrong thing and yelled at him. "Oliver, where does your pee go?" "In the potty," he answered. "Then why do you keep peeing everywhere else?" He didn't care. He just skipped away, singing a song. So I said, "I guess we'll have to go back to diapers, like babies wear." His response? "Okay!" sigh. I am this close.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Not a good day
We had music class this morning, but our teacher, Miss Julie, was out sick with a cold. So we had Miss Sarah instead. Did my easygoing child just go with the flow and enjoy class? Of course not. He turned into super rigid toddler, and started screaming "Go away!" over and over again, and tried to push me toward the door. Normally if he were acting out in class, I would threaten to take him home, but of course, I couldn't do that this time because it's precisely what he wanted. So I took him into the hallway and explained to him that Miss Julie was sick and that Miss Sarah was here and we were still going to sing and dance and have fun like we always do. I got a reluctant, "Okay." So we went back in. He was still very pouty and stayed on my lap. He got mad once when she started singing a song that he didn't want, and then again when she did a verse differently than Miss Julie does. The pouting got worse. In the middle of a song where we were using egg shakers, he laid down on the floor. Then when Miss Sarah came around to collect the egg shakers, he took mine and his and threw them at her, narrowly missing another child. And out the door we went again. I put him in time out in the next classroom. Then he asked to pee, which we did successfully in the church bathroom. I asked him if he was going to be a good boy when we returned to class, and he said yes. I told him if he acted up again, he'd get no computer time when we got home. He was somewhat better after that, but he still pouted quite a bit and refused to sing or dance the rest of the class, but at least didn't yell at anyone or attempt to hurt anyone. Not enjoyable.
After class we took some quick trips to Target and the grocery store, then back home for lunch. After lunch, he watched the last half of Sesame Street while I cleaned the kitchen. At one point he came in and told me he hurt his eye, and needed his Elmo Boo Boo Buddy. I saw no actual injury, but he often asks for Elmo at the slightest bump, so I gave it to him. I continued cleaning the kitchen, and a few minutes later he comes in and shows me his now chewed on Elmo, and points in his mouth and says, "I ate it." Me: "WHAT?!?!!" Sure enough, under the teeth marks was a hole, with goo oozing out of it. Gross! He knows that's not allowed (thank goodness they are non-toxic though), so I immediately sent him to time-out, since it was a potential hazard. He went obediently to his time out corner, no screaming or crying. I go back to cleaning the kitchen. Just when his time was almost up, he comes running into the kitchen again and says, "Peed in time out corner." Me: "WHAT??!!?"
Now, I know you're not supposed to get mad at accidents, that I'm supposed to brush it off and let it go and praise the successes instead. But O.M.G.! He hasn't had a pee accident in weeks, and I am quite certain this action was deliberate. He stood in that time out corner, and peed. Not on the time out mat, no that would be too easy to clean. But on the wall and the carpet. Now, this has happened once before, but that was on the first day of our first attempt at potty training, when he was having accidents everywhere. It wasn't totally deliberate then, just an out of control thing. This time was very much a deliberate, "I'm mad at mommy for putting me in time out" action. I mean, our bathroom is literally 5 feet away. He's potty trained. He wasn't even crying this time. I didn't even know how to handle this one. Trying not to explode, I told him to go sit on the potty while I dealt with the mess. I got the carpet cleaner (made just for pet stains!) and sprayed it on there and while it was setting, I went in the other room to calm down. Then I finally went to see him in the bathroom. I asked him if he peed in his time out corner on purpose. He started laughing. I walked out of the room to keep my head from exploding. Breathe. Count to 10. Then I returned to the bathroom and calmly reminded him that he should be peeing on the potty instead of the floor. Then I told him that he had to help me clean up his accident, and gave him a big rag so he could scrub it. Then I washed his hands really well because I hate the thought of him touching chemicals.
Lucky for him, nap time started a few minutes later. Not that he's sleeping. I don't want to know what is awaiting me in that room when I go get him. He's up there now saying "Wake up Mommy!" over and over and over and over again. I'm going to hit "publish post" now in the hopes that we are done with the very bad part of our day, and the rest is enjoyable. If I come back later and post an addendum, you'll know it's been a bad one.
After class we took some quick trips to Target and the grocery store, then back home for lunch. After lunch, he watched the last half of Sesame Street while I cleaned the kitchen. At one point he came in and told me he hurt his eye, and needed his Elmo Boo Boo Buddy. I saw no actual injury, but he often asks for Elmo at the slightest bump, so I gave it to him. I continued cleaning the kitchen, and a few minutes later he comes in and shows me his now chewed on Elmo, and points in his mouth and says, "I ate it." Me: "WHAT?!?!!" Sure enough, under the teeth marks was a hole, with goo oozing out of it. Gross! He knows that's not allowed (thank goodness they are non-toxic though), so I immediately sent him to time-out, since it was a potential hazard. He went obediently to his time out corner, no screaming or crying. I go back to cleaning the kitchen. Just when his time was almost up, he comes running into the kitchen again and says, "Peed in time out corner." Me: "WHAT??!!?"
Now, I know you're not supposed to get mad at accidents, that I'm supposed to brush it off and let it go and praise the successes instead. But O.M.G.! He hasn't had a pee accident in weeks, and I am quite certain this action was deliberate. He stood in that time out corner, and peed. Not on the time out mat, no that would be too easy to clean. But on the wall and the carpet. Now, this has happened once before, but that was on the first day of our first attempt at potty training, when he was having accidents everywhere. It wasn't totally deliberate then, just an out of control thing. This time was very much a deliberate, "I'm mad at mommy for putting me in time out" action. I mean, our bathroom is literally 5 feet away. He's potty trained. He wasn't even crying this time. I didn't even know how to handle this one. Trying not to explode, I told him to go sit on the potty while I dealt with the mess. I got the carpet cleaner (made just for pet stains!) and sprayed it on there and while it was setting, I went in the other room to calm down. Then I finally went to see him in the bathroom. I asked him if he peed in his time out corner on purpose. He started laughing. I walked out of the room to keep my head from exploding. Breathe. Count to 10. Then I returned to the bathroom and calmly reminded him that he should be peeing on the potty instead of the floor. Then I told him that he had to help me clean up his accident, and gave him a big rag so he could scrub it. Then I washed his hands really well because I hate the thought of him touching chemicals.
Lucky for him, nap time started a few minutes later. Not that he's sleeping. I don't want to know what is awaiting me in that room when I go get him. He's up there now saying "Wake up Mommy!" over and over and over and over again. I'm going to hit "publish post" now in the hopes that we are done with the very bad part of our day, and the rest is enjoyable. If I come back later and post an addendum, you'll know it's been a bad one.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Another Victory!
We have reached another milestone in potty training success: Using the potty outside the house. Today Oliver peed on a big potty in the public bathroom at Lowe's! This was our next hurdle, because he got scared of the big potty and refused on Thursday during music class. But I guess we'd been shopping a bit long (hey, we have a new home to renovate), because he asked to pee, so we quickly found the bathroom, and he climbed right on up the toilet and did it! Hooray Oliver!!!! Of course, then I had to go, which he proceeded to narrate to then entire bathroom. Fun times.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Two Stickers!!
I have a potty training success to share tonight: we have poops!!! Poops in the potty, that is, and even better, all on his own. I didn't ask if he needed to go, and the timer hadn't rung. In fact, I was on the phone with my mom, and when he went into the bathroom I let him go alone because he's in that "Oliver do it!" stage. He came back out and said he peed, so I gave him his 1 sticker for peeing. He kept running around playing and not letting me put his underwear back on, so I let him be naked boy for a few minutes. Then he went back into the bathroom again. I figured he was just on a sticker campaign, so I kept talking on the phone. A few minutes later, he came back out and said, "I pooped!" I said, "You did?! On the potty?!" He said, "Yes! Two stickers!!" (he gets 2 for poops). So I go check, and sure enough, he had pooped on the big potty (he puts the potty seat on there himself now and climbs up using a step stool). So we had ten high tens (high 5 times 2 hands 10 times equals 100), and lots of celebration.
A little bit later, he tells me he wants to go play upstairs in his room, so I let him go, still on the phone, figuring I'll follow soon. I hear him calling for me a few minutes later, and he was stuck in his room and couldn't get the door open. So I open it and he runs out and says, "Got poops!" and heads for daddy's bathroom, where we have another little potty. He sits on it a minute, than exclaims "Oh no, get potty dirty!" and stands up in a panic, with something hanging from his behind. I told him that was okay, that is what a potty is for, but he wouldn't hear it. So I hung up on my mom (sorry mom!), cleaned him as best I could and got him down to his "regular" potty seat on the big potty for him to finish. It was quite the production, but we did it!
I think we've hit a new level of success! Before, he was "saving" his poops for nap time (he's in a diaper for naps and bedtime). Not only did he poop twice today, but he also asked to go pee when he needed to, so we only used the timer a few times. We've gone days without any accidents, and he did great in school this week too. Is it possible that this is actually working this time?! Hooray! I know you're all excited too, since you won't have to read poop-themed blog posts anymore!
A little bit later, he tells me he wants to go play upstairs in his room, so I let him go, still on the phone, figuring I'll follow soon. I hear him calling for me a few minutes later, and he was stuck in his room and couldn't get the door open. So I open it and he runs out and says, "Got poops!" and heads for daddy's bathroom, where we have another little potty. He sits on it a minute, than exclaims "Oh no, get potty dirty!" and stands up in a panic, with something hanging from his behind. I told him that was okay, that is what a potty is for, but he wouldn't hear it. So I hung up on my mom (sorry mom!), cleaned him as best I could and got him down to his "regular" potty seat on the big potty for him to finish. It was quite the production, but we did it!
I think we've hit a new level of success! Before, he was "saving" his poops for nap time (he's in a diaper for naps and bedtime). Not only did he poop twice today, but he also asked to go pee when he needed to, so we only used the timer a few times. We've gone days without any accidents, and he did great in school this week too. Is it possible that this is actually working this time?! Hooray! I know you're all excited too, since you won't have to read poop-themed blog posts anymore!
Friday, January 28, 2011
Potty Training Update
I found a magical device to cure all our potty training woes! Ta-da:
We are setting it in 30 minute intervals most of the time. I adjust it depending on when he last actually peed, or how much. Sometimes he sits but doesn't pee, or doesn't get it all out, and that's okay, because most of the time he goes. If he doesn't pee, I set it for 15 minutes. I think the intervals will change over time as we get into a rhythm and he learns his body signals better.
So maybe we're getting this thing figured out. Let's hope so!
A timer.
A simple apple timer from the Dollar Spot at Target, which I bought last year hoping to use it for time outs. Unfortunately, it didn't work very well for anything under 5 minutes, so I stuck it in a drawer.
Then I posted about our potty training troubles on a mom's message board that I frequent, and a few of my friends suggested trying a timer. I'd read about using a timer somewhere in all my research, but never thought to try it. The idea is that you set the timer for regular intervals, and when the bell rings, they have to go sit on the potty. You kind of make a game of it, but most importantly, it gives them a little more control because you aren't telling them to go (or nagging them or begging them), the timer is. Control seems to be our main stumbling block in recent days, as he resists my attempts to get him to go, stubbornly refusing, and then having an accident minutes later.
Because I am determined to make it work this time, out of desperation I thought I'd give it a try, figuring he'd still be too stubborn. Amazingly, after only a few rings of the bell, he got it. Now every time it rings, he stops whatever he's doing, even watching one of his favorite shows, and says, "Time to potty!" and marches right in the bathroom! He had no accidents yesterday after he got the hang of it, and no protests either! He even told us he needed to pee during dinner! The highchair is where many of his accidents have taken place, so that is awesome.
We are setting it in 30 minute intervals most of the time. I adjust it depending on when he last actually peed, or how much. Sometimes he sits but doesn't pee, or doesn't get it all out, and that's okay, because most of the time he goes. If he doesn't pee, I set it for 15 minutes. I think the intervals will change over time as we get into a rhythm and he learns his body signals better.
I did a bunch of reading up on potty training yesterday while he napped (he played for half his nap, and slept for half, with no destruction of his room!), and I decided that I also had to work on my attitude. I was starting to get frustrated, and it showed, and I know he picked up on that. So now we are all about praising the tiniest success, and brushing off any accidents as part of the learning process. It's making for a happier mommy and toddler, lots of stickers, and on Saturday, he'll get his incentive toy!
So maybe we're getting this thing figured out. Let's hope so!
Thursday, January 27, 2011
A busy nap time
My excuse for not blogging yesterday:
This is what Oliver did during his "nap" yesterday.
Naps are intermittent around here these days. Some days he'll nap for hours. Others, not at all. Regardless, I enforce a "quiet time," so that on days that he doesn't nap, he has to stay in his room for an hour and can play quietly. Sometimes he'll fall asleep. Sometimes he won't.
Yesterday, he quietly removed all the clothes from the drawers of his dresser. I could hear him moving around, but figured he was just playing with toys or reading books. When the hour was up, I went upstairs to get him, and opened the door to that mess. Shocked, I asked him, "Oliver, what did you do?" He immediately confessed with a list, "Get clothes out drawers. Mess with blinds. And poop in closet." See, we have a rule that he's not allowed to mess with the blinds or go in the closet, so he knew that was wrong, but we never told him not to empty drawers, so he seemed quite proud of himself. Oh, the mind of a toddler. Of course, I immediately made it known that it was not okay to empty the drawers, and put him in time out while I contemplated his punishment. And snuck downstairs for the camera.
Oh, and don't worry, he didn't actually poop in the closet. He went into the closet to poop, but since he's still in a diaper for nap times (thank goodness!), he just pooped in his diaper in the closet. So I'm thinking it'll be a while before we try underwear for naps. Maybe high school, at this rate. No, potty training is not going well, but that's another post.
Because of the snowstorm, Daddy came home early right about that time, so we decided he had to stay in his room until he put all the clothes back in the drawers. Now, I know he wouldn't be able to fold everything and get it all to fit, and I'd have to go back and clean it up anyway, but we had to try to teach him a lesson. Well, it became a battle of wills. The parents, trying to get him to just pick up the clothes, and put them in the drawers, versus the child, who sat calmly reading books, and casually saying his favorite phrase, "No, don't want to." This went on for three hours. One of us would check on him every once in a while and urge him to put the clothes away, but he'd either simply say no, or scream and beg, "Mommy do it! Daddy do it!" Finally, I made dinner, and went up and told him that if he put the clothes away, we could eat tacos and berries for dinner. He must have been hungry, because then it turned into a game to see how quickly he could get them in the drawers. Hey, whatever works!
After dinner, I spent the next hour finally getting a shower, and then sitting and folding all those clothes (mostly my off-season stuff) and putting them away. Then fixing the blackout curtains he had pulled halfway off the rod, and picking up all the books he had strewn all over the room while he avoided his task. Too tired to blog. Oh, and I'm sick with a cold/sinus thing. Bonus.
Never before did I yearn for and yet dread nap time as much as I do today.
This is what Oliver did during his "nap" yesterday.
Naps are intermittent around here these days. Some days he'll nap for hours. Others, not at all. Regardless, I enforce a "quiet time," so that on days that he doesn't nap, he has to stay in his room for an hour and can play quietly. Sometimes he'll fall asleep. Sometimes he won't.
Yesterday, he quietly removed all the clothes from the drawers of his dresser. I could hear him moving around, but figured he was just playing with toys or reading books. When the hour was up, I went upstairs to get him, and opened the door to that mess. Shocked, I asked him, "Oliver, what did you do?" He immediately confessed with a list, "Get clothes out drawers. Mess with blinds. And poop in closet." See, we have a rule that he's not allowed to mess with the blinds or go in the closet, so he knew that was wrong, but we never told him not to empty drawers, so he seemed quite proud of himself. Oh, the mind of a toddler. Of course, I immediately made it known that it was not okay to empty the drawers, and put him in time out while I contemplated his punishment. And snuck downstairs for the camera.
Oh, and don't worry, he didn't actually poop in the closet. He went into the closet to poop, but since he's still in a diaper for nap times (thank goodness!), he just pooped in his diaper in the closet. So I'm thinking it'll be a while before we try underwear for naps. Maybe high school, at this rate. No, potty training is not going well, but that's another post.
Because of the snowstorm, Daddy came home early right about that time, so we decided he had to stay in his room until he put all the clothes back in the drawers. Now, I know he wouldn't be able to fold everything and get it all to fit, and I'd have to go back and clean it up anyway, but we had to try to teach him a lesson. Well, it became a battle of wills. The parents, trying to get him to just pick up the clothes, and put them in the drawers, versus the child, who sat calmly reading books, and casually saying his favorite phrase, "No, don't want to." This went on for three hours. One of us would check on him every once in a while and urge him to put the clothes away, but he'd either simply say no, or scream and beg, "Mommy do it! Daddy do it!" Finally, I made dinner, and went up and told him that if he put the clothes away, we could eat tacos and berries for dinner. He must have been hungry, because then it turned into a game to see how quickly he could get them in the drawers. Hey, whatever works!
After dinner, I spent the next hour finally getting a shower, and then sitting and folding all those clothes (mostly my off-season stuff) and putting them away. Then fixing the blackout curtains he had pulled halfway off the rod, and picking up all the books he had strewn all over the room while he avoided his task. Too tired to blog. Oh, and I'm sick with a cold/sinus thing. Bonus.
Never before did I yearn for and yet dread nap time as much as I do today.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Blah
I said I would post every day. But I'm tired, we've been gone all day, and the start of a cold is hitting me hard. I need a shower, and to go to bed.
So my post for today is: potty training sucks. I hate it. But I'm not quitting.
So my post for today is: potty training sucks. I hate it. But I'm not quitting.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Bragging Rights
Because if a mother can't brag on her son, then who can?
I have lots to brag on Oliver about today. First, I know you're all dying to hear about it, but we did have a great potty training day. He got 6 stickers, and 2 accidents, one of which was just a little dribble before he made it to the potty. The big one was during dinner. He'd been asking to be "all done," and we kept delaying, and while I think he should have been more specific and said "potty please," it is partly our fault. We were starting to clean up when he suddenly said, "I'm peeing!" So, the load of laundry tonight included his highchair cover! But overall, he did great about telling me when he needed to go, and actually kept a Pull Up dry during music class. We'll have a full day to work on it tomorrow, since it appears another snow storm is headed our way.
Our other great news is that Oliver has been asked to attend a second day of his Mother's Day Out program! They had an opening because of a family moving away, and the director called and asked me if we were interested. She said his current teachers just love Oliver, and that the other teachers (that he'll have on his second day) had heard all about him and were so excited to possibly have him in their class! She said they love how he entertains them all with his singing and dancing. She said he sings show tunes! Show tunes? We don't sing any show tunes. I guess it must be songs from his music class that they mistake for show tunes. The only other one I could think of would be Skidamarink ("Skidamarinky dinky dink, skidamarinky doo, I love you...."), which we sing at home sometimes. Maybe that's from a musical? Anyway, I digress. She also said he is a delight, well adjusted, smart, fun, and well behaved. Wow!!!! So they thought of him when the opening came up. Of course they did. Who wouldn't want more Oliver?! So we're doing it. He loves going to "school," and I think he really gets a lot out of it. So now he'll now be going two mornings a week, which means I get another 4 hours off!!
Finally, before music class I was telling his teacher that he woke up this morning (at 6:15, ugh) wanting to sing songs from one of the song books from last year's class. He's very obsessed with the song books that go along with the class, he loves looking at the music while we sing. So when class started, his teacher used that as an example to show how learning music helps literacy, etc. I was so proud of my smart boy. For about 10 minutes. Then he threw a fit because she wasn't singing the songs in the order they come in the book. So, maybe he's a little too obsessed. What can I say, we all know how much he likes things in order! Okay, so he's not perfect, but I'll brag about him anyway.
I have lots to brag on Oliver about today. First, I know you're all dying to hear about it, but we did have a great potty training day. He got 6 stickers, and 2 accidents, one of which was just a little dribble before he made it to the potty. The big one was during dinner. He'd been asking to be "all done," and we kept delaying, and while I think he should have been more specific and said "potty please," it is partly our fault. We were starting to clean up when he suddenly said, "I'm peeing!" So, the load of laundry tonight included his highchair cover! But overall, he did great about telling me when he needed to go, and actually kept a Pull Up dry during music class. We'll have a full day to work on it tomorrow, since it appears another snow storm is headed our way.
Our other great news is that Oliver has been asked to attend a second day of his Mother's Day Out program! They had an opening because of a family moving away, and the director called and asked me if we were interested. She said his current teachers just love Oliver, and that the other teachers (that he'll have on his second day) had heard all about him and were so excited to possibly have him in their class! She said they love how he entertains them all with his singing and dancing. She said he sings show tunes! Show tunes? We don't sing any show tunes. I guess it must be songs from his music class that they mistake for show tunes. The only other one I could think of would be Skidamarink ("Skidamarinky dinky dink, skidamarinky doo, I love you...."), which we sing at home sometimes. Maybe that's from a musical? Anyway, I digress. She also said he is a delight, well adjusted, smart, fun, and well behaved. Wow!!!! So they thought of him when the opening came up. Of course they did. Who wouldn't want more Oliver?! So we're doing it. He loves going to "school," and I think he really gets a lot out of it. So now he'll now be going two mornings a week, which means I get another 4 hours off!!
Finally, before music class I was telling his teacher that he woke up this morning (at 6:15, ugh) wanting to sing songs from one of the song books from last year's class. He's very obsessed with the song books that go along with the class, he loves looking at the music while we sing. So when class started, his teacher used that as an example to show how learning music helps literacy, etc. I was so proud of my smart boy. For about 10 minutes. Then he threw a fit because she wasn't singing the songs in the order they come in the book. So, maybe he's a little too obsessed. What can I say, we all know how much he likes things in order! Okay, so he's not perfect, but I'll brag about him anyway.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Potty Training, Round 2, Day 4
Didn't I predict a day of rebellion? Yeah, that would be today. It wasn't completely horrible, we aren't giving up or anything, but this momma is tired. It doesn't help that there was an ice storm today so we couldn't go anywhere, but I thought I'd take advantage of that to keep him in training pants all day.
He did some things well. In the morning especially, he waited a long time between sitting on the potty to pee. I kept asking, and he kept saying, "No, don't want to," very matter of factly. When he did finally go, he only peed a little bit. At one point I went upstairs to get dressed and brush my teeth, for maybe 5 minutes. When I returned, he was in the bathroom with the door shut. I walk in and he is standing in front of the toilet with a guilty look on his face, saying "Peed on floor." Boy, did he! He must have been saving that up from overnight even! It was quite the puddle. The good thing is that he felt the urge and ran to the bathroom, but he wanted on the big toilet not his little potty seat, and he has a hard time getting up there on his own, so he just didn't make it. So I was positive with him, saying "Accidents happen, you'll just try again next time." He said, "like Elmo and Grover! Accidents happen, so that's ok!" He's quoting Elmo's Potty Time, where they sing a song about this. But the way Oliver said it gave me pause because it was in a way that came across as, "Accidents happen, great job!" like he did something awesome.
Sure enough, it turned out to be the theme of the day. He'd pee in his training pants, shrug and say, "Accidents happen!" and sing the song. Sigh. So we had quite a few long talks about how it's ok if you have an accident, but isn't it much better to pee on the potty and get a sticker. Then this evening, he was in the kitchen playing with refrigerator magnets for a bit, and he came out walking funny. I said, "Do you have to go potty?" He said, "yeah," but as he passed by me on the way to the bathroom, I noticed quite the protuberance from the back of his training pants. Apparently he was busy in the kitchen doing other things. Hey, at least he's not constipated. Sigh.
So he ended the day with 4 stickers, and 5 accidents. And I ended the day doing another load of laundry.
Oh, and 55 minutes into his non-napping nap time today, he comes walking down the stairs into the living room. He figured out how to unlock his door (a safety lock we can manipulate from the outside). This was how we enforce "quiet time" when he doesn't feel like napping. So much for that strategy. It was not a good day for the mommy.
But we aren't giving up. No matter how much he tries to break me down!
He did some things well. In the morning especially, he waited a long time between sitting on the potty to pee. I kept asking, and he kept saying, "No, don't want to," very matter of factly. When he did finally go, he only peed a little bit. At one point I went upstairs to get dressed and brush my teeth, for maybe 5 minutes. When I returned, he was in the bathroom with the door shut. I walk in and he is standing in front of the toilet with a guilty look on his face, saying "Peed on floor." Boy, did he! He must have been saving that up from overnight even! It was quite the puddle. The good thing is that he felt the urge and ran to the bathroom, but he wanted on the big toilet not his little potty seat, and he has a hard time getting up there on his own, so he just didn't make it. So I was positive with him, saying "Accidents happen, you'll just try again next time." He said, "like Elmo and Grover! Accidents happen, so that's ok!" He's quoting Elmo's Potty Time, where they sing a song about this. But the way Oliver said it gave me pause because it was in a way that came across as, "Accidents happen, great job!" like he did something awesome.
Sure enough, it turned out to be the theme of the day. He'd pee in his training pants, shrug and say, "Accidents happen!" and sing the song. Sigh. So we had quite a few long talks about how it's ok if you have an accident, but isn't it much better to pee on the potty and get a sticker. Then this evening, he was in the kitchen playing with refrigerator magnets for a bit, and he came out walking funny. I said, "Do you have to go potty?" He said, "yeah," but as he passed by me on the way to the bathroom, I noticed quite the protuberance from the back of his training pants. Apparently he was busy in the kitchen doing other things. Hey, at least he's not constipated. Sigh.
So he ended the day with 4 stickers, and 5 accidents. And I ended the day doing another load of laundry.
Oh, and 55 minutes into his non-napping nap time today, he comes walking down the stairs into the living room. He figured out how to unlock his door (a safety lock we can manipulate from the outside). This was how we enforce "quiet time" when he doesn't feel like napping. So much for that strategy. It was not a good day for the mommy.
But we aren't giving up. No matter how much he tries to break me down!
Monday, January 17, 2011
Potty Training, Round 2, Days 2 and 3
I am very encouraged by the progress we are making so far! Check out this sticker chart:
(Excuse my paper overlays, we're working off the same chart from August, but I wanted a clean slate).
We officially started on Saturday, but I didn't want to waste that piece of paper, so we put this week's on the same page. I guess we'll double up when we get to Saturday again. Oliver has been doing great though!
On Day 1, he went through 6 pairs of cotton training pants before lunch. Then he and Daddy went to an indoor track meet so I sent him in diapers. After they were there a while, he told Daddy he wanted to go home to pee and nap! And then when they got home, he did! Slept quite a while actually, thankfully. That evening, he had more successes, ending the day with a total of 5 stickers (one sticker=actually peeing on the potty, but only if pants are dry). Went to bed in diapers.
Day 2, woke up wet. Went right into training pants after a morning pee on the potty. For the entire day, only 2 accidents! But the biggest success was that he pooped on the potty! Unfortunately, he didn't ask to go, but went to his favorite "hiding" spot between the end table and the sliding glass door, but I caught him before much came out, and rushed him to the toilet, where he unloaded the rest. That called for a big celebration, so new rule, 2 stickers=pooping on the potty! He was much better about asking to go potty before he had an accident, and actually peeing when he was on the potty, unlike the last round, where he was constantly asking to go potty, but never peeing, all in an effort to get stickers. We were also better at reading his signs and asking if he needed to go at appropriate moments, rather than just randomly, or every 2 minutes (which gets old fast!). We did make a run to Target and the grocery store, and put him in diapers for that and naps. Sunday's total was 8 stickers (2 for poop), 2 accidents.
Day 3, woke up a little wet, but cranky, so I let him hang out in his diaper until he felt better. He's been enthusiastic about going on the potty all day, and has only had one accident. He's had another poop, and this time he told me, "poop in potty?"! Today we definitely had more of him telling me he needed to go than me asking him. End of the day tally: 11 stickers (the photo above was taken this morning), 1 accident!
I hope I'm not speaking too soon, and I'm fully prepared for a rebellion day, but this time feels so different from the last attempt in August. He seems to get it this time, which he should, he's older. But he's also more interested. Last time we had the Elmo's Potty Time DVD, but he only watched it once and never wanted to again. This time he's watched it every day at least once, and asked for it multiple other times, but football was on (go Bears!). He's getting out his potty books too. And best of all, since the first day, he has only occasionally asked for his incentive toy (the Cars Lego set), and with that look on his face like, "I know I'm asking you for something I can't have," and no tantrums. I really truly believe that what "everybody" says is true, it works when they're ready. I also believe that I am more relaxed about it this time. I hope it doesn't backfire on me later, but I'm not stressing about putting him in diapers every now and then when convenient (for example, going to the store). I decided I was not going to make this a battle or an ordeal. I'm going to see how he's doing, and if we go to My Gym tomorrow (weather permitting), I'll probably put him in a Pull-Up, since they have a bathroom right there. And I'm not worrying about naps until I think he's really doing well during waking hours. How can I expect him to stay dry during naps or bedtime if he's not staying totally dry when he's awake?! I know the hard core advice is to go all the way, and deal with the consequences, that's how they learn. Well, I want him to learn to understand his body signals while awake before I put him down to sleep without a diaper or pull-up on.
So hopefully my next update isn't another "we've given up" post, but I'm feeling confident that we're on the road to success, yay!
(Excuse my paper overlays, we're working off the same chart from August, but I wanted a clean slate).
We officially started on Saturday, but I didn't want to waste that piece of paper, so we put this week's on the same page. I guess we'll double up when we get to Saturday again. Oliver has been doing great though!
On Day 1, he went through 6 pairs of cotton training pants before lunch. Then he and Daddy went to an indoor track meet so I sent him in diapers. After they were there a while, he told Daddy he wanted to go home to pee and nap! And then when they got home, he did! Slept quite a while actually, thankfully. That evening, he had more successes, ending the day with a total of 5 stickers (one sticker=actually peeing on the potty, but only if pants are dry). Went to bed in diapers.
Day 2, woke up wet. Went right into training pants after a morning pee on the potty. For the entire day, only 2 accidents! But the biggest success was that he pooped on the potty! Unfortunately, he didn't ask to go, but went to his favorite "hiding" spot between the end table and the sliding glass door, but I caught him before much came out, and rushed him to the toilet, where he unloaded the rest. That called for a big celebration, so new rule, 2 stickers=pooping on the potty! He was much better about asking to go potty before he had an accident, and actually peeing when he was on the potty, unlike the last round, where he was constantly asking to go potty, but never peeing, all in an effort to get stickers. We were also better at reading his signs and asking if he needed to go at appropriate moments, rather than just randomly, or every 2 minutes (which gets old fast!). We did make a run to Target and the grocery store, and put him in diapers for that and naps. Sunday's total was 8 stickers (2 for poop), 2 accidents.
Day 3, woke up a little wet, but cranky, so I let him hang out in his diaper until he felt better. He's been enthusiastic about going on the potty all day, and has only had one accident. He's had another poop, and this time he told me, "poop in potty?"! Today we definitely had more of him telling me he needed to go than me asking him. End of the day tally: 11 stickers (the photo above was taken this morning), 1 accident!
I hope I'm not speaking too soon, and I'm fully prepared for a rebellion day, but this time feels so different from the last attempt in August. He seems to get it this time, which he should, he's older. But he's also more interested. Last time we had the Elmo's Potty Time DVD, but he only watched it once and never wanted to again. This time he's watched it every day at least once, and asked for it multiple other times, but football was on (go Bears!). He's getting out his potty books too. And best of all, since the first day, he has only occasionally asked for his incentive toy (the Cars Lego set), and with that look on his face like, "I know I'm asking you for something I can't have," and no tantrums. I really truly believe that what "everybody" says is true, it works when they're ready. I also believe that I am more relaxed about it this time. I hope it doesn't backfire on me later, but I'm not stressing about putting him in diapers every now and then when convenient (for example, going to the store). I decided I was not going to make this a battle or an ordeal. I'm going to see how he's doing, and if we go to My Gym tomorrow (weather permitting), I'll probably put him in a Pull-Up, since they have a bathroom right there. And I'm not worrying about naps until I think he's really doing well during waking hours. How can I expect him to stay dry during naps or bedtime if he's not staying totally dry when he's awake?! I know the hard core advice is to go all the way, and deal with the consequences, that's how they learn. Well, I want him to learn to understand his body signals while awake before I put him down to sleep without a diaper or pull-up on.
So hopefully my next update isn't another "we've given up" post, but I'm feeling confident that we're on the road to success, yay!
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Here we go again
This weekend's mission: Potty Training, round 2.
I really want it to work this time. He's been going on the potty off and on since our failure back in August. He got more interested again a few weeks before Christmas, but I didn't want to take a potty training child on a plane or to other people's homes for two weeks. So we just took him when he asked, and like the first time, it was mostly about getting stickers. But I know he understands the process, it's just a matter of body awareness and stubbornness. So I thought we'd try again when we returned home. Last Friday morning when he woke up, I asked if he wanted to go sit on the potty to pee. He replied with an emphatic "No." See, stubborn. So much for trying. I mean, you can't force them to sit on the potty, right? But he was still in the midst of his post-holiday attitude. You know, after 2 weeks of grandmas and lots of presents, you feel like you rule the world. Hopefully things are back to normal now, and he'll be more willing to try. Plus, I found a secret weapon:
Finding an incentive worked really well when we got rid of the binky, so I'm hoping it might help things along here too. When we were in Target yesterday, we were perusing the clearance toys. He zeroed in on this one. I let him hold it while we shopped, and then before we went to check out, I told him that this toy would be a present for him after he learned to use the potty and keep his pants dry. He kept saying "Open at home," our standard mantra whenever he gets something at the store, so he doesn't rip it open right then and there. So I repeated, "after you learn to use the potty" repeatedly, until he said it back to me.
After he woke up from his nap, I asked if he needed to pee on the potty, and he did. So he got a sticker on his newly updated sticker chart. Excitedly, he asked, "Open box?" So I had to explain to him again that he had to fill his sticker chart (2 weeks worth) before he got the new toy, because he had to show that he could keep his pants dry. Major tantrum ensues. I guess he didn't get it after all. Finally, after much screaming on his part, and explaining on mine, I think he finally sort of got it. The box is on top of the refrigerator, where he can see it as an incentive, though I'm thinking of just putting it away so he isn't completely tortured by it. It does feel slightly cruel.
This morning when he woke up, I asked if he wanted to wear underwear so he could practice peeing and pooping on the potty, and he agreed, and went on the potty before we got dressed. Hooray! The rest of the morning, we had a combination of successes and accidents, 3 stickers, and 6 wet training pants. The underwear we bought for the last attempt don't fit him any more, so I'm going to have to go get more of those and more training pants.
Right now he's off with Daddy for a Boy's Day Out, and back in diapers while they're gone. I've decided I'm not going to be as hard core this time as I was the last. I'm not spending 3 days locked in our apartment staring at his crotch. If we need to go out, I'll put him in pull-ups or diapers, whichever feels appropriate at the time, and then he'll be in underwear or training pants at home. Last time things got too stressful, for all of us. This time it's a little different. He knows what to do, we've been "practicing" for months. He just has to learn to read his body's signals better, which is hard to do when you play as intently as he does. Plus, he's a little bit stubborn. I have no idea where he gets that trait! We have nine months until he starts preschool and has to be out of diapers completely. Hopefully, it won't take that long!
I really want it to work this time. He's been going on the potty off and on since our failure back in August. He got more interested again a few weeks before Christmas, but I didn't want to take a potty training child on a plane or to other people's homes for two weeks. So we just took him when he asked, and like the first time, it was mostly about getting stickers. But I know he understands the process, it's just a matter of body awareness and stubbornness. So I thought we'd try again when we returned home. Last Friday morning when he woke up, I asked if he wanted to go sit on the potty to pee. He replied with an emphatic "No." See, stubborn. So much for trying. I mean, you can't force them to sit on the potty, right? But he was still in the midst of his post-holiday attitude. You know, after 2 weeks of grandmas and lots of presents, you feel like you rule the world. Hopefully things are back to normal now, and he'll be more willing to try. Plus, I found a secret weapon:
The incentive!
Finding an incentive worked really well when we got rid of the binky, so I'm hoping it might help things along here too. When we were in Target yesterday, we were perusing the clearance toys. He zeroed in on this one. I let him hold it while we shopped, and then before we went to check out, I told him that this toy would be a present for him after he learned to use the potty and keep his pants dry. He kept saying "Open at home," our standard mantra whenever he gets something at the store, so he doesn't rip it open right then and there. So I repeated, "after you learn to use the potty" repeatedly, until he said it back to me.
After he woke up from his nap, I asked if he needed to pee on the potty, and he did. So he got a sticker on his newly updated sticker chart. Excitedly, he asked, "Open box?" So I had to explain to him again that he had to fill his sticker chart (2 weeks worth) before he got the new toy, because he had to show that he could keep his pants dry. Major tantrum ensues. I guess he didn't get it after all. Finally, after much screaming on his part, and explaining on mine, I think he finally sort of got it. The box is on top of the refrigerator, where he can see it as an incentive, though I'm thinking of just putting it away so he isn't completely tortured by it. It does feel slightly cruel.
This morning when he woke up, I asked if he wanted to wear underwear so he could practice peeing and pooping on the potty, and he agreed, and went on the potty before we got dressed. Hooray! The rest of the morning, we had a combination of successes and accidents, 3 stickers, and 6 wet training pants. The underwear we bought for the last attempt don't fit him any more, so I'm going to have to go get more of those and more training pants.
Right now he's off with Daddy for a Boy's Day Out, and back in diapers while they're gone. I've decided I'm not going to be as hard core this time as I was the last. I'm not spending 3 days locked in our apartment staring at his crotch. If we need to go out, I'll put him in pull-ups or diapers, whichever feels appropriate at the time, and then he'll be in underwear or training pants at home. Last time things got too stressful, for all of us. This time it's a little different. He knows what to do, we've been "practicing" for months. He just has to learn to read his body's signals better, which is hard to do when you play as intently as he does. Plus, he's a little bit stubborn. I have no idea where he gets that trait! We have nine months until he starts preschool and has to be out of diapers completely. Hopefully, it won't take that long!
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Potty Training, the Day I Quit
What I've learned today:
I thought it was going ok at the beginning. We had some challenges, but I thought we were overcoming them. I guess the novelty wore off. First, it became a sticker battle. He'd go into the bathroom, ask to sit on the big potty (because there's already water in it), sit for 2 seconds, grab toilet paper, wipe, and say "all done! Sticker?" So mommy says no, and he has a tantrum. Then, he'd either pee on the floor during his tantrum, or 5 minutes later when he was playing. Since everything I read said to make sure potty training wasn't a battle and didn't involve punishment, this was especially frustrating. I wasn't trying to punish him. I was trying to reward him. But he didn't get it.
He was also stubborn. We'd gently remind him to let us know when he had to pee or poop, or ask if he needed to go. After those first few days, the answer was always a short but firm, "No." Of course, that's his favorite word, he never ever says "yes" to anything. I'd try to guide him to the potty every so often to sit and try, in which case I'd get an adamant "Nooooooo!" Sometimes he'd do it, but then not pee. But the part that made me realize we were just done was when not a minute after sitting on the potty, we'd be in the living room and he'd pee in his underpants and on the floor and/or furniture. Sometimes less than a minute. And it didn't happen just a few times, but every single time. We went from getting 4-5 stickers a day on the first few days to 3, then 2, then 1, then yesterday and today, 0. Sure, part of that is because we left the house more after the first few days, in which he'd go in his pull ups, but mostly, he was just peeing all over the place. Marty and I talked about it, and we both think he just doesn't listen to his body. He doesn't understand the feeling of needing to pee. A few times, he'd seem surprised and cry "Oh oh oh poop!!!" as he was peeing his underpants. We're not sure if he felt the urge to poop or if he was confusing pee or poop or confusing the feelings.
The final straw happened this morning. We were having a lazy Sunday, Marty was out running, and Oliver and I were hanging out. We'd already had a few accidents that day. Oliver was in his high chair coloring. Before I put him in the chair I asked if he needed to go pee in the potty. "No." I checked on his dryness occasionally as he colored. About 20 minutes later, he was suddenly done coloring. I picked him up out of the chair only to find that he had peed in it. A lot. Ok, I understand, he was engrossed in coloring. So I put him on the potty, where he pees some more, get him all cleaned up and settled with toys while I clean the chair and run upstairs to put the highchair cover in the laundry. I come back down to him sitting quietly on the couch. He got up when I came in, and I saw that he had peed again, on the couch. That was the third accident in an hour, because he had another one right before Marty left.
That was it. I slapped on a diaper and called it done. I wanted to enjoy the rest of my Sunday, and not be in what was feeling more and more like a constant battle. Sure, I beat myself up a bit over this. I was feeling pretty much like a failure as a mom. I can't even teach my kid to pee? But I taught him his ABCs! And to count to 20 (sort of)! Why can't I do this? What did I do wrong? It started off so well, or was I just trying to convince myself of that? Did he feel my frustration? Did I not explain it right? Should I have said wee wee and doody instead of pee and poop? Did I not buy enough equipment? Did I get the wrong book or DVD? Was the Sesame Street theme just a little over the top (by the way, I found SS underpants. I didn't buy them.)? Was it because I didn't get the Sesame Street underwear and he had to settle for Thomas?
Breathe.
Everyone tells me that when they are ready, they are ready, and it won't be so hard or frustrating. That they get it in a matter of days. So we're packing away the underpants and going back to diapers. I like diapers. Diapers are easy. We'll still sit him on the potty now and then and encourage him to listen to his body. But it's going to be very low key. We'll come back to it in a few months. I keep reading that with boys, waiting closer to age three often brings quick success. Or, as one friend said, "Three is the new two for potty training."
I'm a good mom, not a failure. It was simply that he wasn't ready. And if they aren't ready, it just isn't going to happen, and there's nothing anyone can do to change that. So that's what I learned today.
- If they're not ready, they're not ready. A good mom knows when it's time to throw in the towel.
I thought it was going ok at the beginning. We had some challenges, but I thought we were overcoming them. I guess the novelty wore off. First, it became a sticker battle. He'd go into the bathroom, ask to sit on the big potty (because there's already water in it), sit for 2 seconds, grab toilet paper, wipe, and say "all done! Sticker?" So mommy says no, and he has a tantrum. Then, he'd either pee on the floor during his tantrum, or 5 minutes later when he was playing. Since everything I read said to make sure potty training wasn't a battle and didn't involve punishment, this was especially frustrating. I wasn't trying to punish him. I was trying to reward him. But he didn't get it.
He was also stubborn. We'd gently remind him to let us know when he had to pee or poop, or ask if he needed to go. After those first few days, the answer was always a short but firm, "No." Of course, that's his favorite word, he never ever says "yes" to anything. I'd try to guide him to the potty every so often to sit and try, in which case I'd get an adamant "Nooooooo!" Sometimes he'd do it, but then not pee. But the part that made me realize we were just done was when not a minute after sitting on the potty, we'd be in the living room and he'd pee in his underpants and on the floor and/or furniture. Sometimes less than a minute. And it didn't happen just a few times, but every single time. We went from getting 4-5 stickers a day on the first few days to 3, then 2, then 1, then yesterday and today, 0. Sure, part of that is because we left the house more after the first few days, in which he'd go in his pull ups, but mostly, he was just peeing all over the place. Marty and I talked about it, and we both think he just doesn't listen to his body. He doesn't understand the feeling of needing to pee. A few times, he'd seem surprised and cry "Oh oh oh poop!!!" as he was peeing his underpants. We're not sure if he felt the urge to poop or if he was confusing pee or poop or confusing the feelings.
The final straw happened this morning. We were having a lazy Sunday, Marty was out running, and Oliver and I were hanging out. We'd already had a few accidents that day. Oliver was in his high chair coloring. Before I put him in the chair I asked if he needed to go pee in the potty. "No." I checked on his dryness occasionally as he colored. About 20 minutes later, he was suddenly done coloring. I picked him up out of the chair only to find that he had peed in it. A lot. Ok, I understand, he was engrossed in coloring. So I put him on the potty, where he pees some more, get him all cleaned up and settled with toys while I clean the chair and run upstairs to put the highchair cover in the laundry. I come back down to him sitting quietly on the couch. He got up when I came in, and I saw that he had peed again, on the couch. That was the third accident in an hour, because he had another one right before Marty left.
That was it. I slapped on a diaper and called it done. I wanted to enjoy the rest of my Sunday, and not be in what was feeling more and more like a constant battle. Sure, I beat myself up a bit over this. I was feeling pretty much like a failure as a mom. I can't even teach my kid to pee? But I taught him his ABCs! And to count to 20 (sort of)! Why can't I do this? What did I do wrong? It started off so well, or was I just trying to convince myself of that? Did he feel my frustration? Did I not explain it right? Should I have said wee wee and doody instead of pee and poop? Did I not buy enough equipment? Did I get the wrong book or DVD? Was the Sesame Street theme just a little over the top (by the way, I found SS underpants. I didn't buy them.)? Was it because I didn't get the Sesame Street underwear and he had to settle for Thomas?
Breathe.
Everyone tells me that when they are ready, they are ready, and it won't be so hard or frustrating. That they get it in a matter of days. So we're packing away the underpants and going back to diapers. I like diapers. Diapers are easy. We'll still sit him on the potty now and then and encourage him to listen to his body. But it's going to be very low key. We'll come back to it in a few months. I keep reading that with boys, waiting closer to age three often brings quick success. Or, as one friend said, "Three is the new two for potty training."
I'm a good mom, not a failure. It was simply that he wasn't ready. And if they aren't ready, it just isn't going to happen, and there's nothing anyone can do to change that. So that's what I learned today.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Potty Training, Day 3
Don't worry. This is not becoming a Potty Training blog. I hope today is the last of these posts, though I may throw in a general update now and then. We did a very modified version of the 3 Day Potty Training, so I thought 3 days of posts would be appropriate.
What I learned today:
Then we went upstairs to get ready to go out for the morning. We had our usual battle over getting dressed, so I left his room to go brush my teeth and get ready. Before I left, I asked if he needed to pee or poop. "No." I didn't want to leave him alone anywhere in fear of an accident, but usually he follows me and we brush our teeth together. When he didn't appear by the time I got my toothbrush in my mouth, I walked back to his room to check on him. Uh-oh. He was standing behind the recliner, in the corner by his bookcase, with that look on his face. Sure enough, he was peeing. Unfortunately, his fabric box of foam blocks were sort of underneath him, and he peed on them, along with the carpet. Arrrrgh!!!! I had just asked, 30 seconds ago, and he told me he didn't have to pee! This was one of those intensely frustrating moments I mentioned above. I had just asked! But I took a breath, and said "accidents happen," and steered him to the bathroom to sit on the potty in case he wasn't finished. The foam blocks got a bath (and actually dried without soaking up anything), but the cute fabric box with it's cardboard lining had to get tossed.
After that, I happily put a diaper on him to go out. I had considered the Pull Up, but this was unknown territory. We hadn't left the house yet since this started. So yes, I played it safe. I'm not in the mood to clean pee out of a car seat, ok? We went to My Gym. Oliver surprised me about halfway through the class, when he looked at me and said "pee potty." I was sure he would be too distracted to think about it, plus, he had a diaper on. That didn't seem to matter, which was awesome. We used their wonderful bathroom, equipped with step stool and potty seat and everything needed for toddlers. Then back out to play. I was in shock, but oh, so proud of him!
Then on to the grocery store and back home for lunch. One more pee in the potty, and no further incidents. I put him in a diaper for nap time, after asking if he needed to pee or poop before we went upstairs. "No." I ran and got a quick shower, and about 10 minutes after I got out, I hear him trying the door (which we keep a safety latch on). I figured he was just fighting the nap, and I'd let him cry it out as typically happens a few times a week. In the back of my mind I wondered, what if he has to pee or poop? But I though, eh, he has a diaper on, no big deal. He wasn't crying, but I kept hearing noises, banging, something sliding. I started wondering if he was actually playing instead of napping, which I'd actually welcome. He never does that. We'd love it if he'd play in his room when he woke up instead of waking us up too early. Or playing quietly instead of naptime if he isn't tired, so mommy gets a break. Anyway, there was something different about these noises, and I got worried. So I went upstairs and listened at the door. I hear a faint "Mommy" cry that didn't sound normal. So I went in, and he wasn't there. Then his closet door opens, and out pops his head and he says, "Mommy, poop closet." Ohhhhhhh. So that's what that noise was about, he was sliding open his closet door, and going in there to poop, when he couldn't get out of his room to go to the potty. Uh-oh. Then he pointed at the floor, and said, "Poop there," thinking he had actually pooped on the floor. Again, he didn't realize it was in his diaper!! Does this kid have no feeling in his butt or what? There was a big turd in there, how could he not feel that? Thankfully, I didn't have to clean a closet floor of poop though! So I sat him on the potty and he actually pooped a little more. I guess that's a sign that he's aware of his bodily functions now, huh? I'm not sure what we'll do about the door. We keep it closed to keep him in there for safety at night, and to enforce naptime during the day.
All that excitement meant no nap for Oliver, because he was wide awake now. No break for the mommy either, ugh. We played for a while, and then I called my mom for sympathy. Oliver sat on the potty and talked to her too, though he didn't actually pee. No, he saved that for 2 minutes after the photos below were taken, when he peed on the carpet in the living room. Yes, I was distracted on the phone. But we had just been in the bathroom a few minutes ago!!! My frustration level hits the roof. I'm mad at myself for not paying attention. I'm mad at him for not going when we were in there. I'm trying really hard not to show it. Thankfully, Marty got home a few minutes later and took him to the pool to go swimming. Mommy got a break. Breathe in. Breathe out.
The rest of the evening was uneventful, and in fact pretty successful. I think he peed in the potty 2 or 3 times, the only accidents were little dribbles on his underpants. He got a diaper for bedtime again. If he wakes up dry again tomorrow morning, we'll move to Pull Ups for bed.
My biggest frustration is when I ask him if he needs to use the potty, and he says no, and then has an accident minutes/seconds later. But I wonder how much of that is just him learning his body. At that second, it was a no, and maybe 2 seconds later it turns into a yes. Still, I think we're getting the hang of things. We have to accept that there will still be accidents and regardless of the hype, potty training is an ongoing process, not a 3 day event. I was scared to start potty training. I really wanted to put it off, but he was showing signs, and I know I had to take advantage of that. Yes, it's hard, but it's not as horrible as I thought it would be. I'm not sure what I imagined, but I think whole rooms sprayed with pee and smeared with poop were somewhere in the picture. I think the emotional toll is the hardest. It's just one more sign that my little guy is growing up. I'm conflicted. I can't decide if I want it to slow down or speed up!!
What I learned today:
- It is as equally hard as it is important not to get upset over accidents. I know that you aren't supposed to make potty training a battle, but there are moments that are so incredibly frustrating that it is insanely hard to hold yourself back. But you've got to do it. You've got to put on a smiley face, say "It's okay," and just move forward. As hard as I try to be relaxed about it, I came close to losing it on a few occasions.
- It doesn't seem to matter if I put on training pants, Pull Ups, a diaper, or underwear. At least, it doesn't matter much to him. Most of the time, he still asked to go potty, no matter what he was wearing. A diaper didn't seem to be an excuse to avoid the potty, in fact, his accidents happened while wearing underpants. His diapers stayed dry. I find it interesting, because depending on what method you read about, they are usually quite adamant, saying they must wear underpants, or training pants, or nothing at all.
- I have a hard time staying sane if he doesn't take a nap. This freaks me out for the next milestone: dropping the last nap. I don't want to even think about it.
Then we went upstairs to get ready to go out for the morning. We had our usual battle over getting dressed, so I left his room to go brush my teeth and get ready. Before I left, I asked if he needed to pee or poop. "No." I didn't want to leave him alone anywhere in fear of an accident, but usually he follows me and we brush our teeth together. When he didn't appear by the time I got my toothbrush in my mouth, I walked back to his room to check on him. Uh-oh. He was standing behind the recliner, in the corner by his bookcase, with that look on his face. Sure enough, he was peeing. Unfortunately, his fabric box of foam blocks were sort of underneath him, and he peed on them, along with the carpet. Arrrrgh!!!! I had just asked, 30 seconds ago, and he told me he didn't have to pee! This was one of those intensely frustrating moments I mentioned above. I had just asked! But I took a breath, and said "accidents happen," and steered him to the bathroom to sit on the potty in case he wasn't finished. The foam blocks got a bath (and actually dried without soaking up anything), but the cute fabric box with it's cardboard lining had to get tossed.
After that, I happily put a diaper on him to go out. I had considered the Pull Up, but this was unknown territory. We hadn't left the house yet since this started. So yes, I played it safe. I'm not in the mood to clean pee out of a car seat, ok? We went to My Gym. Oliver surprised me about halfway through the class, when he looked at me and said "pee potty." I was sure he would be too distracted to think about it, plus, he had a diaper on. That didn't seem to matter, which was awesome. We used their wonderful bathroom, equipped with step stool and potty seat and everything needed for toddlers. Then back out to play. I was in shock, but oh, so proud of him!
Then on to the grocery store and back home for lunch. One more pee in the potty, and no further incidents. I put him in a diaper for nap time, after asking if he needed to pee or poop before we went upstairs. "No." I ran and got a quick shower, and about 10 minutes after I got out, I hear him trying the door (which we keep a safety latch on). I figured he was just fighting the nap, and I'd let him cry it out as typically happens a few times a week. In the back of my mind I wondered, what if he has to pee or poop? But I though, eh, he has a diaper on, no big deal. He wasn't crying, but I kept hearing noises, banging, something sliding. I started wondering if he was actually playing instead of napping, which I'd actually welcome. He never does that. We'd love it if he'd play in his room when he woke up instead of waking us up too early. Or playing quietly instead of naptime if he isn't tired, so mommy gets a break. Anyway, there was something different about these noises, and I got worried. So I went upstairs and listened at the door. I hear a faint "Mommy" cry that didn't sound normal. So I went in, and he wasn't there. Then his closet door opens, and out pops his head and he says, "Mommy, poop closet." Ohhhhhhh. So that's what that noise was about, he was sliding open his closet door, and going in there to poop, when he couldn't get out of his room to go to the potty. Uh-oh. Then he pointed at the floor, and said, "Poop there," thinking he had actually pooped on the floor. Again, he didn't realize it was in his diaper!! Does this kid have no feeling in his butt or what? There was a big turd in there, how could he not feel that? Thankfully, I didn't have to clean a closet floor of poop though! So I sat him on the potty and he actually pooped a little more. I guess that's a sign that he's aware of his bodily functions now, huh? I'm not sure what we'll do about the door. We keep it closed to keep him in there for safety at night, and to enforce naptime during the day.
All that excitement meant no nap for Oliver, because he was wide awake now. No break for the mommy either, ugh. We played for a while, and then I called my mom for sympathy. Oliver sat on the potty and talked to her too, though he didn't actually pee. No, he saved that for 2 minutes after the photos below were taken, when he peed on the carpet in the living room. Yes, I was distracted on the phone. But we had just been in the bathroom a few minutes ago!!! My frustration level hits the roof. I'm mad at myself for not paying attention. I'm mad at him for not going when we were in there. I'm trying really hard not to show it. Thankfully, Marty got home a few minutes later and took him to the pool to go swimming. Mommy got a break. Breathe in. Breathe out.
[PHOTOS REMOVED]
Telling Nee-Nee all about it. Note the sticker chart above him.
[PHOTOS REMOVED]
Look at that face!
My biggest frustration is when I ask him if he needs to use the potty, and he says no, and then has an accident minutes/seconds later. But I wonder how much of that is just him learning his body. At that second, it was a no, and maybe 2 seconds later it turns into a yes. Still, I think we're getting the hang of things. We have to accept that there will still be accidents and regardless of the hype, potty training is an ongoing process, not a 3 day event. I was scared to start potty training. I really wanted to put it off, but he was showing signs, and I know I had to take advantage of that. Yes, it's hard, but it's not as horrible as I thought it would be. I'm not sure what I imagined, but I think whole rooms sprayed with pee and smeared with poop were somewhere in the picture. I think the emotional toll is the hardest. It's just one more sign that my little guy is growing up. I'm conflicted. I can't decide if I want it to slow down or speed up!!
Monday, August 16, 2010
Potty Training, Day 2
What I've learned so far:
One of the methods I studied said when we start potty training, we shouldn't make any exceptions for naps or bedtime. That we should use underpants then too, and deal with the consequences, since that's how they learn. Well, Oliver has never woken up with a dry diaper overnight, and only a few times at naps. So I wrote that off as too hard core for us, and put him in diapers for naps and bedtime. Turns out, he could have been in underpants last night! When he woke up, we snuggled for a few minutes, then he started walking to the door. I asked him if we could change his pants before we went downstairs, and he just kept walking into his bathroom where Dad was brushing his teeth, and asked to pee. He filled that potty up! Hooray, we have bladder control!!!!
The morning went well. He peed twice in a row on the potty without any accidents. Then I got on the phone. My mistake. He was busy watching YouTube videos, which he can now point and click to change them on his own (!), and I was chatting away on the couch, away from the computer so I could hear. A few minutes later I walked over to check on him, and he was sitting in a puddle, on the (rented!) dining room chair. Ran him to the potty, where he peed some more. This kid drinks too much, I swear. I've never seen so much pee come out in a 2 hour period. Cleaned up that mess, and the rest of the morning we only had 2 little wet spots on his underpants from dribbling, and no more accidents. Linsey and Annabelle came over for a while, and there was lots of obsession with the potty by both kids, but he only peed on the potty once while they were here and no more after that. I guess he got it all out. Seriously, from 10:30 to 2:00, he did not pee. Aren't you impressed? And when I went to put him down for a nap, he said he didn't need to go. So was I brave and put him in underpants for his nap? Heck no! I'm not crazy! The kid hasn't peed in 3.5 hours! Something's got to come out soon! So you bet I slapped that diaper right on.
He woke up from his nap with a wet diaper, and while we sat upstairs playing for the next hour, I left it on him. I'd say, "Let's put your underpants on," and he'd reply with an emphatic "No." I definitely got the feeling that he was getting tired of all this. Finally, we got them on and went downstairs. A little bit later, he was showing some signs that he might need to pee, so we went in to sit on the potty. Nothing. But he wanted a sticker anyway. Very badly. So he had a big tantrum in the kitchen, near the cabinet where I keep the stickers. Big tantrum. So Marty and I just repeated that he'd get a sticker when he actually peed or pooped on the potty. Tantrum continued, so we just tried ignoring it. Didn't I learn my lesson yesterday? Never ignore a tantrum during potty training!!! Marty went into the kitchen, and sure enough, there was a big pile of pee on the laminate floor. Hey, better than on the carpet! I can't decide if he was so upset that he lost control of his bodily functions, or if he was so mad at us he decided to pee on the floor in retaliation. I'm sure it was the first, but there's a tiny part of me that wonders if it was the latter.
Things were pretty uneventful for a while until after dinner. I desperately wanted a shower, and was finally getting a chance to run upstairs to get one while he and Marty played. Unfortunately, Oliver's in a phase where he only wants Mommy, so he got upset. I went anyway because he usually gets over it in a few minutes. He peed on the tablecloth we keep on the floor around and under his high chair. Hey, better than on the carpet! Marty said he took him to the potty, where he then also pooped, only to miss the chair and hit the floor instead. I guess I picked the perfect time for a shower!
So overall, not as many successes today, but not near as many accidents either. I think that's progress. No, I was not brave enough to try underpants for bedtime. We'll stick with diapers until I know it's not a fluke.
I'm starting to question the whole sticker as a reward thing. Maybe because stickers are still such a novelty to him, he's too obsessed to understand that they are a reward. I actually thought that would work to our advantage. But the more I think about it, I'm pretty sure he does understand, but because he's two, he wants it anyway and will try throwing a tantrum until he gets his way. I do think the sticker is motivating, so I'm not sure what else to try. I did not want to do M&Ms or jellybeans or a food item like some books recommend. I just don't think it's wise to use food as a reward like that. Oh well, I certainly can't take the sticker motivation away now, because he'd see that as punishment, which we don't want him to associate with potty training.
Tomorrow we'll be out a lot in the morning, so not as much focused attention on the potty training, but I think that will be good for both of us. We need a break; this is intense!
- Diapers are easy, and underpants are hard. Aren't diapers just so easy? Sure, they stink up the diaper pail (ours has been sitting outside on the balcony for the past year), and cost too much, but boy, are they easy. You can sit and watch tv, play with toys, go and make breakfast, talk on the phone, and just hang out, without giving your son's bodily functions a second thought. Get a whiff of something, pull out a new one, slap it on, and you're good to go! Underpants are hard. I've never stared at my son's penis so much. I'm either looking for leaks on his underpants or watching him on the potty to see if he actually pees instead of just sits. I swear, he's starting to get a complex. I'm waiting to hear, "Mooooooommeeeeee, stop looking at it!"
- He was more ready for this milestone than we gave him credit for. This has been true of all the big ones, really. I agonized over giving up the bottle, so sure he would hate me forever and never sleep well again. I was wrong. He barely noticed. Same with switching to whole milk, giving up the pacifier, and more recently, moving to the big boy bed. With every milestone, he's taken it all in stride, while I was filled with anxiety. He is definitely more ready to grow up than I am for him to do it.
- I can actually appreciate living in this corporate apartment. While I am quick to clean up any accidents as soon as I can, there is some comfort in knowing that this is not my carpet or my furniture that is getting soaked.
One of the methods I studied said when we start potty training, we shouldn't make any exceptions for naps or bedtime. That we should use underpants then too, and deal with the consequences, since that's how they learn. Well, Oliver has never woken up with a dry diaper overnight, and only a few times at naps. So I wrote that off as too hard core for us, and put him in diapers for naps and bedtime. Turns out, he could have been in underpants last night! When he woke up, we snuggled for a few minutes, then he started walking to the door. I asked him if we could change his pants before we went downstairs, and he just kept walking into his bathroom where Dad was brushing his teeth, and asked to pee. He filled that potty up! Hooray, we have bladder control!!!!
The morning went well. He peed twice in a row on the potty without any accidents. Then I got on the phone. My mistake. He was busy watching YouTube videos, which he can now point and click to change them on his own (!), and I was chatting away on the couch, away from the computer so I could hear. A few minutes later I walked over to check on him, and he was sitting in a puddle, on the (rented!) dining room chair. Ran him to the potty, where he peed some more. This kid drinks too much, I swear. I've never seen so much pee come out in a 2 hour period. Cleaned up that mess, and the rest of the morning we only had 2 little wet spots on his underpants from dribbling, and no more accidents. Linsey and Annabelle came over for a while, and there was lots of obsession with the potty by both kids, but he only peed on the potty once while they were here and no more after that. I guess he got it all out. Seriously, from 10:30 to 2:00, he did not pee. Aren't you impressed? And when I went to put him down for a nap, he said he didn't need to go. So was I brave and put him in underpants for his nap? Heck no! I'm not crazy! The kid hasn't peed in 3.5 hours! Something's got to come out soon! So you bet I slapped that diaper right on.
[PHOTO REMOVED]
You know I had to get an underpants shot today. Here he is hanging out with his favorite girl.
Things were pretty uneventful for a while until after dinner. I desperately wanted a shower, and was finally getting a chance to run upstairs to get one while he and Marty played. Unfortunately, Oliver's in a phase where he only wants Mommy, so he got upset. I went anyway because he usually gets over it in a few minutes. He peed on the tablecloth we keep on the floor around and under his high chair. Hey, better than on the carpet! Marty said he took him to the potty, where he then also pooped, only to miss the chair and hit the floor instead. I guess I picked the perfect time for a shower!
So overall, not as many successes today, but not near as many accidents either. I think that's progress. No, I was not brave enough to try underpants for bedtime. We'll stick with diapers until I know it's not a fluke.
I'm starting to question the whole sticker as a reward thing. Maybe because stickers are still such a novelty to him, he's too obsessed to understand that they are a reward. I actually thought that would work to our advantage. But the more I think about it, I'm pretty sure he does understand, but because he's two, he wants it anyway and will try throwing a tantrum until he gets his way. I do think the sticker is motivating, so I'm not sure what else to try. I did not want to do M&Ms or jellybeans or a food item like some books recommend. I just don't think it's wise to use food as a reward like that. Oh well, I certainly can't take the sticker motivation away now, because he'd see that as punishment, which we don't want him to associate with potty training.
Tomorrow we'll be out a lot in the morning, so not as much focused attention on the potty training, but I think that will be good for both of us. We need a break; this is intense!
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Potty Training, Day 1
Warning: this entry will contain far too many uses of the words 'pee,' 'poop,' and 'underpants.'
I knew it wasn't going to be easy. I didn't know it was going to be so exhausting! I'm so tired, I can barely write this, but I want to remember how we did today, so that as we progress in this (and we will!), I can look back and see how far we've come. Overall, Oliver did pretty well, better than I expected. It didn't start out very promising, but by the end of the day, there was some definite progress.
I was fully prepared. We've had a potty seat since he was 15 months old, on the recommendation of our pediatrician. He told us to put him on it, say at bath time every night, so he'd get used to it. That way, when the time comes to really potty train, he wouldn't be afraid. He'd pee on it every now and then, more by accident and the fact that he had a free penis more than anything I think. We also bought a 2nd (Elmo) potty seat a few months ago. Yes, Elmo. Elmo gives you a high five when you succeed, and says things like "You're growing up, just like Elmo!" and "Elmo is so proud of you!" And we got a seat adapter (Sesame Street) for the toilet, so he can use the "big boy potty" too. We got an "incentive chart" and stickers, also Sesame Street. Yes, I like my potty training equipment to match. We got Pull Ups and cotton training pants and big boy underpants that he picked out himself. Sadly, not Sesame Street underpants. They were out of those. But we got Thomas, and a Disney variety pack. It only bothers me a little bit that they don't match the Sesame Street theme we've got going on. I'll get over it. I even got carpet cleaner for pet stains. I had studied too. I read books and websites, and pamphlets. Yes, I was prepared.
We were awakened this morning at 6:30. Can someone tell me when they start sleeping until noon and you have to drag them out of bed? Because I'd like that to start soon. Especially on a Sunday. Oh well, more time to potty train! I was eager with anticipation and hopeful that he'd take to it just like that. We took off the overnight diaper, and put on a pair of cotton training pants. I told him he should try to keep his "big boy underpants" dry, and to let mommy or daddy know when he needed to pee or poop. He was excited about his big boy underpants. He looked so cute in them too. No, I did not take any photos. I know, I always take photos. Not today. The one moment I finally thought of it turned into a pee emergency and the camera never made a return appearance. Maybe tomorrow.
So we went downstairs, and I showed him the sticker chart, and told him that if he peed or pooped on the potty, he'd get a sticker, and when he got 3 stickers, he'd get a special new toy. I had him sit on the potty, but nothing. Then we went into the living room, and he got out his 2 potty themed books to read. Aw, like mother, like son--he wants to study too! Maybe it inspired him, because it wasn't long before he peed. In his training pants. No big deal, accidents happen. We talked about not getting the underpants wet, tried the potty again with no results, and put on pair #2.
Soon he wanted breakfast. As I was making it, he played happily in his cabinet in the kitchen, sometimes crawling inside as he often does. As I'm finishing cutting up the fruit, I thought I smelled something. A bad peach? Then he comes out of his cabinet, and sure enough, there's a lump in the back of his training pants. So we rush to the bathroom, we put it in the potty together, and talk about keeping his underpants dry and clean. Sit on the potty again, no results, and put on pair #3.
Soon Dad was home from his run, and I went upstairs to start some laundry. I came back to them changing his training pants (#4), and cleaning a spot on the carpet. Still didn't pee on the potty. But he told Dad his pants were wet this time!! This is good!! This is progress.
The next accident happened during a time out (he was hitting me, I forget why). I felt bad about that one, because he was calling for me, but I was ignoring him as I'm supposed to during a time out. One of my books said not to do time outs or punishment during training because it creates a negative atmosphere. When I read that I rolled my eyes and said "Whatever." They should have simply said, "Don't do time outs during training because they will pee in their time out corner." On to training pants #5. In need of a break, Mommy went out for a quick grocery store trip while Dad handled things.
Training pants #6 came along after another "I'm too busy playing to notice my bodily functions" accident. In between all of this time, we are constantly asking him if his underpants are dry and praising him when they are, and reminding him to let us know when he needs to pee or poop. Anytime he starts playing with himself, we hurry him to the potty to see if he needs to go. One of us sits on the big potty while he sits on the little one. This is exhausting. He is getting frustrated. At one point, Marty took him swimming just to give him (and us) a break from it all. We ran out of training pants and moved on to the "big boy underpants" A few times, he got them just a little wet, so we'd go to the potty and try to get him to finish in there.
Finally, it happened. After one of those times, I took him to the potty, and he sat down and just peed. Now, he'd done it in the past, but only before bath time. But this was the first time during potty training. Just when I was starting to get really frustrated and give up hope that he was ready. So we got very excited, he was thrilled. We dumped it in the big potty, he flushed, he got a sticker, he gave Elmo a high five, and he ran to find Dad to tell him. Did he tell Dad he peed on the potty? No, he told him he got a sticker. Cute, right? Yeah, until the stickers became an obsession, but that happens later.
Lunchtime and a few more accidents later, we put him back in a diaper and down for a nap. And we collapsed on the sofa. Who knew this would be so exhausting? All the checking of the underwear and hurrying to the potty, and washing hands, and the "You only get a sticker when you pee or poop in the potty. Sitting on the potty for 2 seconds does not qualify" tantrums. Marty and I sat on the sofa and wondered if maybe he's just not ready after all. He doesn't seem to understand how to read his body's signals to pee. But we decided we had to give it a try for a few more days and give him a chance to learn.
We would have loved a long nap, but no, he woke up after barely over an hour. I left his diaper on for a little bit as he woke up. We played with stuffed animals and then he put them all in his crib and then sat among them. I changed the laundry and came back in only to find that he had peed out his diaper. He wasn't even in underpants!! One side had gotten loose, probably from rolling around in his crib, and so needless to say, I had another load of sheets to do. So we put on underpants and went downstairs to keep working at it.
The afternoon went much better. We still had a few accidents, but he wanted to try the potty more, and succeeded another time. He did, however, become obsessed with the stickers. He just couldn't grasp the concept that they were rewards. He kept going in to sit on the potty, then get off after only a few seconds and saying "Sticker!" He thought he'd get one just for sitting. He wanted them all, and kept throwing tantrums when he couldn't have them. Or he'd try the big potty (with the adapter). But I stuck to my guns, and just kept telling him he'd get one when he peed or pooped in the potty. I was tired of the game, and after the 3rd time in as many minutes of running to the potty for a 2 second sit, I lost it and actually groused at him about it, only to immediately feel guilty and follow him into the bathroom one more time. Wouldn't you know, that's when he peed and pooped on the big potty!! Sorry to get graphic here, but when he heard his poop plop in the water, you should have seen the excitement on his face! And the surprise on mine, because I was sure he was crying wolf again. So yes, I felt really bad for giving him a hard time. Of course it's a learning experience for us both. It was sticker #3, so he got a "special toy," some little blocks from the Dollar Spot at Target.
It wasn't perfect after that. We still had a few more accidents, but he had 6 stickers on his chart total for the day. At the end of the night, as he was getting ready for bath with Dad, he peed on the potty. While he's done that before, it seems like this time was more purposeful than accidental. And it gave me a little hope that maybe we're on the right track.
I've read that Day 2 often brings a regression, as they get tired of your constant badgering. I could tell he was tired of it today, as tired as I was of doing it. But it's supposed to be a rainy day, so what else have we got to do anyway? It won't be as easy without Marty's help, but I know we'll survive. Warning: there may be another post about this subject. What can I say, this is my life.
I knew it wasn't going to be easy. I didn't know it was going to be so exhausting! I'm so tired, I can barely write this, but I want to remember how we did today, so that as we progress in this (and we will!), I can look back and see how far we've come. Overall, Oliver did pretty well, better than I expected. It didn't start out very promising, but by the end of the day, there was some definite progress.
I was fully prepared. We've had a potty seat since he was 15 months old, on the recommendation of our pediatrician. He told us to put him on it, say at bath time every night, so he'd get used to it. That way, when the time comes to really potty train, he wouldn't be afraid. He'd pee on it every now and then, more by accident and the fact that he had a free penis more than anything I think. We also bought a 2nd (Elmo) potty seat a few months ago. Yes, Elmo. Elmo gives you a high five when you succeed, and says things like "You're growing up, just like Elmo!" and "Elmo is so proud of you!" And we got a seat adapter (Sesame Street) for the toilet, so he can use the "big boy potty" too. We got an "incentive chart" and stickers, also Sesame Street. Yes, I like my potty training equipment to match. We got Pull Ups and cotton training pants and big boy underpants that he picked out himself. Sadly, not Sesame Street underpants. They were out of those. But we got Thomas, and a Disney variety pack. It only bothers me a little bit that they don't match the Sesame Street theme we've got going on. I'll get over it. I even got carpet cleaner for pet stains. I had studied too. I read books and websites, and pamphlets. Yes, I was prepared.
We were awakened this morning at 6:30. Can someone tell me when they start sleeping until noon and you have to drag them out of bed? Because I'd like that to start soon. Especially on a Sunday. Oh well, more time to potty train! I was eager with anticipation and hopeful that he'd take to it just like that. We took off the overnight diaper, and put on a pair of cotton training pants. I told him he should try to keep his "big boy underpants" dry, and to let mommy or daddy know when he needed to pee or poop. He was excited about his big boy underpants. He looked so cute in them too. No, I did not take any photos. I know, I always take photos. Not today. The one moment I finally thought of it turned into a pee emergency and the camera never made a return appearance. Maybe tomorrow.
So we went downstairs, and I showed him the sticker chart, and told him that if he peed or pooped on the potty, he'd get a sticker, and when he got 3 stickers, he'd get a special new toy. I had him sit on the potty, but nothing. Then we went into the living room, and he got out his 2 potty themed books to read. Aw, like mother, like son--he wants to study too! Maybe it inspired him, because it wasn't long before he peed. In his training pants. No big deal, accidents happen. We talked about not getting the underpants wet, tried the potty again with no results, and put on pair #2.
Soon he wanted breakfast. As I was making it, he played happily in his cabinet in the kitchen, sometimes crawling inside as he often does. As I'm finishing cutting up the fruit, I thought I smelled something. A bad peach? Then he comes out of his cabinet, and sure enough, there's a lump in the back of his training pants. So we rush to the bathroom, we put it in the potty together, and talk about keeping his underpants dry and clean. Sit on the potty again, no results, and put on pair #3.
Soon Dad was home from his run, and I went upstairs to start some laundry. I came back to them changing his training pants (#4), and cleaning a spot on the carpet. Still didn't pee on the potty. But he told Dad his pants were wet this time!! This is good!! This is progress.
The next accident happened during a time out (he was hitting me, I forget why). I felt bad about that one, because he was calling for me, but I was ignoring him as I'm supposed to during a time out. One of my books said not to do time outs or punishment during training because it creates a negative atmosphere. When I read that I rolled my eyes and said "Whatever." They should have simply said, "Don't do time outs during training because they will pee in their time out corner." On to training pants #5. In need of a break, Mommy went out for a quick grocery store trip while Dad handled things.
Training pants #6 came along after another "I'm too busy playing to notice my bodily functions" accident. In between all of this time, we are constantly asking him if his underpants are dry and praising him when they are, and reminding him to let us know when he needs to pee or poop. Anytime he starts playing with himself, we hurry him to the potty to see if he needs to go. One of us sits on the big potty while he sits on the little one. This is exhausting. He is getting frustrated. At one point, Marty took him swimming just to give him (and us) a break from it all. We ran out of training pants and moved on to the "big boy underpants" A few times, he got them just a little wet, so we'd go to the potty and try to get him to finish in there.
Finally, it happened. After one of those times, I took him to the potty, and he sat down and just peed. Now, he'd done it in the past, but only before bath time. But this was the first time during potty training. Just when I was starting to get really frustrated and give up hope that he was ready. So we got very excited, he was thrilled. We dumped it in the big potty, he flushed, he got a sticker, he gave Elmo a high five, and he ran to find Dad to tell him. Did he tell Dad he peed on the potty? No, he told him he got a sticker. Cute, right? Yeah, until the stickers became an obsession, but that happens later.
Lunchtime and a few more accidents later, we put him back in a diaper and down for a nap. And we collapsed on the sofa. Who knew this would be so exhausting? All the checking of the underwear and hurrying to the potty, and washing hands, and the "You only get a sticker when you pee or poop in the potty. Sitting on the potty for 2 seconds does not qualify" tantrums. Marty and I sat on the sofa and wondered if maybe he's just not ready after all. He doesn't seem to understand how to read his body's signals to pee. But we decided we had to give it a try for a few more days and give him a chance to learn.
We would have loved a long nap, but no, he woke up after barely over an hour. I left his diaper on for a little bit as he woke up. We played with stuffed animals and then he put them all in his crib and then sat among them. I changed the laundry and came back in only to find that he had peed out his diaper. He wasn't even in underpants!! One side had gotten loose, probably from rolling around in his crib, and so needless to say, I had another load of sheets to do. So we put on underpants and went downstairs to keep working at it.
The afternoon went much better. We still had a few accidents, but he wanted to try the potty more, and succeeded another time. He did, however, become obsessed with the stickers. He just couldn't grasp the concept that they were rewards. He kept going in to sit on the potty, then get off after only a few seconds and saying "Sticker!" He thought he'd get one just for sitting. He wanted them all, and kept throwing tantrums when he couldn't have them. Or he'd try the big potty (with the adapter). But I stuck to my guns, and just kept telling him he'd get one when he peed or pooped in the potty. I was tired of the game, and after the 3rd time in as many minutes of running to the potty for a 2 second sit, I lost it and actually groused at him about it, only to immediately feel guilty and follow him into the bathroom one more time. Wouldn't you know, that's when he peed and pooped on the big potty!! Sorry to get graphic here, but when he heard his poop plop in the water, you should have seen the excitement on his face! And the surprise on mine, because I was sure he was crying wolf again. So yes, I felt really bad for giving him a hard time. Of course it's a learning experience for us both. It was sticker #3, so he got a "special toy," some little blocks from the Dollar Spot at Target.
It wasn't perfect after that. We still had a few more accidents, but he had 6 stickers on his chart total for the day. At the end of the night, as he was getting ready for bath with Dad, he peed on the potty. While he's done that before, it seems like this time was more purposeful than accidental. And it gave me a little hope that maybe we're on the right track.
I've read that Day 2 often brings a regression, as they get tired of your constant badgering. I could tell he was tired of it today, as tired as I was of doing it. But it's supposed to be a rainy day, so what else have we got to do anyway? It won't be as easy without Marty's help, but I know we'll survive. Warning: there may be another post about this subject. What can I say, this is my life.
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