[PHOTOS REMOVED]
Mine!
See, I'm wearing my magic anti-tackling cloak!
You can't tackle me!
But I can tackle you!
Catching their breath while they watch a few minutes of baseball.
Then right back to tackling!
Friday, August 27, 2010
Photo Friday--Football
In honor of Marty returning home tonight from a week working back in Iowa, here are some shots of their football game last weekend. Note that Oliver does not let go of his blanket the entire time. Excuse the blurriness in some of the shots . . . it was hard to capture the craziness!
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Potty Training, the Day I Quit
What I've learned today:
I thought it was going ok at the beginning. We had some challenges, but I thought we were overcoming them. I guess the novelty wore off. First, it became a sticker battle. He'd go into the bathroom, ask to sit on the big potty (because there's already water in it), sit for 2 seconds, grab toilet paper, wipe, and say "all done! Sticker?" So mommy says no, and he has a tantrum. Then, he'd either pee on the floor during his tantrum, or 5 minutes later when he was playing. Since everything I read said to make sure potty training wasn't a battle and didn't involve punishment, this was especially frustrating. I wasn't trying to punish him. I was trying to reward him. But he didn't get it.
He was also stubborn. We'd gently remind him to let us know when he had to pee or poop, or ask if he needed to go. After those first few days, the answer was always a short but firm, "No." Of course, that's his favorite word, he never ever says "yes" to anything. I'd try to guide him to the potty every so often to sit and try, in which case I'd get an adamant "Nooooooo!" Sometimes he'd do it, but then not pee. But the part that made me realize we were just done was when not a minute after sitting on the potty, we'd be in the living room and he'd pee in his underpants and on the floor and/or furniture. Sometimes less than a minute. And it didn't happen just a few times, but every single time. We went from getting 4-5 stickers a day on the first few days to 3, then 2, then 1, then yesterday and today, 0. Sure, part of that is because we left the house more after the first few days, in which he'd go in his pull ups, but mostly, he was just peeing all over the place. Marty and I talked about it, and we both think he just doesn't listen to his body. He doesn't understand the feeling of needing to pee. A few times, he'd seem surprised and cry "Oh oh oh poop!!!" as he was peeing his underpants. We're not sure if he felt the urge to poop or if he was confusing pee or poop or confusing the feelings.
The final straw happened this morning. We were having a lazy Sunday, Marty was out running, and Oliver and I were hanging out. We'd already had a few accidents that day. Oliver was in his high chair coloring. Before I put him in the chair I asked if he needed to go pee in the potty. "No." I checked on his dryness occasionally as he colored. About 20 minutes later, he was suddenly done coloring. I picked him up out of the chair only to find that he had peed in it. A lot. Ok, I understand, he was engrossed in coloring. So I put him on the potty, where he pees some more, get him all cleaned up and settled with toys while I clean the chair and run upstairs to put the highchair cover in the laundry. I come back down to him sitting quietly on the couch. He got up when I came in, and I saw that he had peed again, on the couch. That was the third accident in an hour, because he had another one right before Marty left.
That was it. I slapped on a diaper and called it done. I wanted to enjoy the rest of my Sunday, and not be in what was feeling more and more like a constant battle. Sure, I beat myself up a bit over this. I was feeling pretty much like a failure as a mom. I can't even teach my kid to pee? But I taught him his ABCs! And to count to 20 (sort of)! Why can't I do this? What did I do wrong? It started off so well, or was I just trying to convince myself of that? Did he feel my frustration? Did I not explain it right? Should I have said wee wee and doody instead of pee and poop? Did I not buy enough equipment? Did I get the wrong book or DVD? Was the Sesame Street theme just a little over the top (by the way, I found SS underpants. I didn't buy them.)? Was it because I didn't get the Sesame Street underwear and he had to settle for Thomas?
Breathe.
Everyone tells me that when they are ready, they are ready, and it won't be so hard or frustrating. That they get it in a matter of days. So we're packing away the underpants and going back to diapers. I like diapers. Diapers are easy. We'll still sit him on the potty now and then and encourage him to listen to his body. But it's going to be very low key. We'll come back to it in a few months. I keep reading that with boys, waiting closer to age three often brings quick success. Or, as one friend said, "Three is the new two for potty training."
I'm a good mom, not a failure. It was simply that he wasn't ready. And if they aren't ready, it just isn't going to happen, and there's nothing anyone can do to change that. So that's what I learned today.
- If they're not ready, they're not ready. A good mom knows when it's time to throw in the towel.
I thought it was going ok at the beginning. We had some challenges, but I thought we were overcoming them. I guess the novelty wore off. First, it became a sticker battle. He'd go into the bathroom, ask to sit on the big potty (because there's already water in it), sit for 2 seconds, grab toilet paper, wipe, and say "all done! Sticker?" So mommy says no, and he has a tantrum. Then, he'd either pee on the floor during his tantrum, or 5 minutes later when he was playing. Since everything I read said to make sure potty training wasn't a battle and didn't involve punishment, this was especially frustrating. I wasn't trying to punish him. I was trying to reward him. But he didn't get it.
He was also stubborn. We'd gently remind him to let us know when he had to pee or poop, or ask if he needed to go. After those first few days, the answer was always a short but firm, "No." Of course, that's his favorite word, he never ever says "yes" to anything. I'd try to guide him to the potty every so often to sit and try, in which case I'd get an adamant "Nooooooo!" Sometimes he'd do it, but then not pee. But the part that made me realize we were just done was when not a minute after sitting on the potty, we'd be in the living room and he'd pee in his underpants and on the floor and/or furniture. Sometimes less than a minute. And it didn't happen just a few times, but every single time. We went from getting 4-5 stickers a day on the first few days to 3, then 2, then 1, then yesterday and today, 0. Sure, part of that is because we left the house more after the first few days, in which he'd go in his pull ups, but mostly, he was just peeing all over the place. Marty and I talked about it, and we both think he just doesn't listen to his body. He doesn't understand the feeling of needing to pee. A few times, he'd seem surprised and cry "Oh oh oh poop!!!" as he was peeing his underpants. We're not sure if he felt the urge to poop or if he was confusing pee or poop or confusing the feelings.
The final straw happened this morning. We were having a lazy Sunday, Marty was out running, and Oliver and I were hanging out. We'd already had a few accidents that day. Oliver was in his high chair coloring. Before I put him in the chair I asked if he needed to go pee in the potty. "No." I checked on his dryness occasionally as he colored. About 20 minutes later, he was suddenly done coloring. I picked him up out of the chair only to find that he had peed in it. A lot. Ok, I understand, he was engrossed in coloring. So I put him on the potty, where he pees some more, get him all cleaned up and settled with toys while I clean the chair and run upstairs to put the highchair cover in the laundry. I come back down to him sitting quietly on the couch. He got up when I came in, and I saw that he had peed again, on the couch. That was the third accident in an hour, because he had another one right before Marty left.
That was it. I slapped on a diaper and called it done. I wanted to enjoy the rest of my Sunday, and not be in what was feeling more and more like a constant battle. Sure, I beat myself up a bit over this. I was feeling pretty much like a failure as a mom. I can't even teach my kid to pee? But I taught him his ABCs! And to count to 20 (sort of)! Why can't I do this? What did I do wrong? It started off so well, or was I just trying to convince myself of that? Did he feel my frustration? Did I not explain it right? Should I have said wee wee and doody instead of pee and poop? Did I not buy enough equipment? Did I get the wrong book or DVD? Was the Sesame Street theme just a little over the top (by the way, I found SS underpants. I didn't buy them.)? Was it because I didn't get the Sesame Street underwear and he had to settle for Thomas?
Breathe.
Everyone tells me that when they are ready, they are ready, and it won't be so hard or frustrating. That they get it in a matter of days. So we're packing away the underpants and going back to diapers. I like diapers. Diapers are easy. We'll still sit him on the potty now and then and encourage him to listen to his body. But it's going to be very low key. We'll come back to it in a few months. I keep reading that with boys, waiting closer to age three often brings quick success. Or, as one friend said, "Three is the new two for potty training."
I'm a good mom, not a failure. It was simply that he wasn't ready. And if they aren't ready, it just isn't going to happen, and there's nothing anyone can do to change that. So that's what I learned today.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Photo Friday--Apples, Plums, and Peaches
Gorgeous day at the orchard last weekend! Oliver carried an apple and plum around with him the whole time. He rejected the peaches--fuzzy skin. But he had fun picking them!
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Potty Training, Day 3
Don't worry. This is not becoming a Potty Training blog. I hope today is the last of these posts, though I may throw in a general update now and then. We did a very modified version of the 3 Day Potty Training, so I thought 3 days of posts would be appropriate.
What I learned today:
Then we went upstairs to get ready to go out for the morning. We had our usual battle over getting dressed, so I left his room to go brush my teeth and get ready. Before I left, I asked if he needed to pee or poop. "No." I didn't want to leave him alone anywhere in fear of an accident, but usually he follows me and we brush our teeth together. When he didn't appear by the time I got my toothbrush in my mouth, I walked back to his room to check on him. Uh-oh. He was standing behind the recliner, in the corner by his bookcase, with that look on his face. Sure enough, he was peeing. Unfortunately, his fabric box of foam blocks were sort of underneath him, and he peed on them, along with the carpet. Arrrrgh!!!! I had just asked, 30 seconds ago, and he told me he didn't have to pee! This was one of those intensely frustrating moments I mentioned above. I had just asked! But I took a breath, and said "accidents happen," and steered him to the bathroom to sit on the potty in case he wasn't finished. The foam blocks got a bath (and actually dried without soaking up anything), but the cute fabric box with it's cardboard lining had to get tossed.
After that, I happily put a diaper on him to go out. I had considered the Pull Up, but this was unknown territory. We hadn't left the house yet since this started. So yes, I played it safe. I'm not in the mood to clean pee out of a car seat, ok? We went to My Gym. Oliver surprised me about halfway through the class, when he looked at me and said "pee potty." I was sure he would be too distracted to think about it, plus, he had a diaper on. That didn't seem to matter, which was awesome. We used their wonderful bathroom, equipped with step stool and potty seat and everything needed for toddlers. Then back out to play. I was in shock, but oh, so proud of him!
Then on to the grocery store and back home for lunch. One more pee in the potty, and no further incidents. I put him in a diaper for nap time, after asking if he needed to pee or poop before we went upstairs. "No." I ran and got a quick shower, and about 10 minutes after I got out, I hear him trying the door (which we keep a safety latch on). I figured he was just fighting the nap, and I'd let him cry it out as typically happens a few times a week. In the back of my mind I wondered, what if he has to pee or poop? But I though, eh, he has a diaper on, no big deal. He wasn't crying, but I kept hearing noises, banging, something sliding. I started wondering if he was actually playing instead of napping, which I'd actually welcome. He never does that. We'd love it if he'd play in his room when he woke up instead of waking us up too early. Or playing quietly instead of naptime if he isn't tired, so mommy gets a break. Anyway, there was something different about these noises, and I got worried. So I went upstairs and listened at the door. I hear a faint "Mommy" cry that didn't sound normal. So I went in, and he wasn't there. Then his closet door opens, and out pops his head and he says, "Mommy, poop closet." Ohhhhhhh. So that's what that noise was about, he was sliding open his closet door, and going in there to poop, when he couldn't get out of his room to go to the potty. Uh-oh. Then he pointed at the floor, and said, "Poop there," thinking he had actually pooped on the floor. Again, he didn't realize it was in his diaper!! Does this kid have no feeling in his butt or what? There was a big turd in there, how could he not feel that? Thankfully, I didn't have to clean a closet floor of poop though! So I sat him on the potty and he actually pooped a little more. I guess that's a sign that he's aware of his bodily functions now, huh? I'm not sure what we'll do about the door. We keep it closed to keep him in there for safety at night, and to enforce naptime during the day.
All that excitement meant no nap for Oliver, because he was wide awake now. No break for the mommy either, ugh. We played for a while, and then I called my mom for sympathy. Oliver sat on the potty and talked to her too, though he didn't actually pee. No, he saved that for 2 minutes after the photos below were taken, when he peed on the carpet in the living room. Yes, I was distracted on the phone. But we had just been in the bathroom a few minutes ago!!! My frustration level hits the roof. I'm mad at myself for not paying attention. I'm mad at him for not going when we were in there. I'm trying really hard not to show it. Thankfully, Marty got home a few minutes later and took him to the pool to go swimming. Mommy got a break. Breathe in. Breathe out.
The rest of the evening was uneventful, and in fact pretty successful. I think he peed in the potty 2 or 3 times, the only accidents were little dribbles on his underpants. He got a diaper for bedtime again. If he wakes up dry again tomorrow morning, we'll move to Pull Ups for bed.
My biggest frustration is when I ask him if he needs to use the potty, and he says no, and then has an accident minutes/seconds later. But I wonder how much of that is just him learning his body. At that second, it was a no, and maybe 2 seconds later it turns into a yes. Still, I think we're getting the hang of things. We have to accept that there will still be accidents and regardless of the hype, potty training is an ongoing process, not a 3 day event. I was scared to start potty training. I really wanted to put it off, but he was showing signs, and I know I had to take advantage of that. Yes, it's hard, but it's not as horrible as I thought it would be. I'm not sure what I imagined, but I think whole rooms sprayed with pee and smeared with poop were somewhere in the picture. I think the emotional toll is the hardest. It's just one more sign that my little guy is growing up. I'm conflicted. I can't decide if I want it to slow down or speed up!!
What I learned today:
- It is as equally hard as it is important not to get upset over accidents. I know that you aren't supposed to make potty training a battle, but there are moments that are so incredibly frustrating that it is insanely hard to hold yourself back. But you've got to do it. You've got to put on a smiley face, say "It's okay," and just move forward. As hard as I try to be relaxed about it, I came close to losing it on a few occasions.
- It doesn't seem to matter if I put on training pants, Pull Ups, a diaper, or underwear. At least, it doesn't matter much to him. Most of the time, he still asked to go potty, no matter what he was wearing. A diaper didn't seem to be an excuse to avoid the potty, in fact, his accidents happened while wearing underpants. His diapers stayed dry. I find it interesting, because depending on what method you read about, they are usually quite adamant, saying they must wear underpants, or training pants, or nothing at all.
- I have a hard time staying sane if he doesn't take a nap. This freaks me out for the next milestone: dropping the last nap. I don't want to even think about it.
Then we went upstairs to get ready to go out for the morning. We had our usual battle over getting dressed, so I left his room to go brush my teeth and get ready. Before I left, I asked if he needed to pee or poop. "No." I didn't want to leave him alone anywhere in fear of an accident, but usually he follows me and we brush our teeth together. When he didn't appear by the time I got my toothbrush in my mouth, I walked back to his room to check on him. Uh-oh. He was standing behind the recliner, in the corner by his bookcase, with that look on his face. Sure enough, he was peeing. Unfortunately, his fabric box of foam blocks were sort of underneath him, and he peed on them, along with the carpet. Arrrrgh!!!! I had just asked, 30 seconds ago, and he told me he didn't have to pee! This was one of those intensely frustrating moments I mentioned above. I had just asked! But I took a breath, and said "accidents happen," and steered him to the bathroom to sit on the potty in case he wasn't finished. The foam blocks got a bath (and actually dried without soaking up anything), but the cute fabric box with it's cardboard lining had to get tossed.
After that, I happily put a diaper on him to go out. I had considered the Pull Up, but this was unknown territory. We hadn't left the house yet since this started. So yes, I played it safe. I'm not in the mood to clean pee out of a car seat, ok? We went to My Gym. Oliver surprised me about halfway through the class, when he looked at me and said "pee potty." I was sure he would be too distracted to think about it, plus, he had a diaper on. That didn't seem to matter, which was awesome. We used their wonderful bathroom, equipped with step stool and potty seat and everything needed for toddlers. Then back out to play. I was in shock, but oh, so proud of him!
Then on to the grocery store and back home for lunch. One more pee in the potty, and no further incidents. I put him in a diaper for nap time, after asking if he needed to pee or poop before we went upstairs. "No." I ran and got a quick shower, and about 10 minutes after I got out, I hear him trying the door (which we keep a safety latch on). I figured he was just fighting the nap, and I'd let him cry it out as typically happens a few times a week. In the back of my mind I wondered, what if he has to pee or poop? But I though, eh, he has a diaper on, no big deal. He wasn't crying, but I kept hearing noises, banging, something sliding. I started wondering if he was actually playing instead of napping, which I'd actually welcome. He never does that. We'd love it if he'd play in his room when he woke up instead of waking us up too early. Or playing quietly instead of naptime if he isn't tired, so mommy gets a break. Anyway, there was something different about these noises, and I got worried. So I went upstairs and listened at the door. I hear a faint "Mommy" cry that didn't sound normal. So I went in, and he wasn't there. Then his closet door opens, and out pops his head and he says, "Mommy, poop closet." Ohhhhhhh. So that's what that noise was about, he was sliding open his closet door, and going in there to poop, when he couldn't get out of his room to go to the potty. Uh-oh. Then he pointed at the floor, and said, "Poop there," thinking he had actually pooped on the floor. Again, he didn't realize it was in his diaper!! Does this kid have no feeling in his butt or what? There was a big turd in there, how could he not feel that? Thankfully, I didn't have to clean a closet floor of poop though! So I sat him on the potty and he actually pooped a little more. I guess that's a sign that he's aware of his bodily functions now, huh? I'm not sure what we'll do about the door. We keep it closed to keep him in there for safety at night, and to enforce naptime during the day.
All that excitement meant no nap for Oliver, because he was wide awake now. No break for the mommy either, ugh. We played for a while, and then I called my mom for sympathy. Oliver sat on the potty and talked to her too, though he didn't actually pee. No, he saved that for 2 minutes after the photos below were taken, when he peed on the carpet in the living room. Yes, I was distracted on the phone. But we had just been in the bathroom a few minutes ago!!! My frustration level hits the roof. I'm mad at myself for not paying attention. I'm mad at him for not going when we were in there. I'm trying really hard not to show it. Thankfully, Marty got home a few minutes later and took him to the pool to go swimming. Mommy got a break. Breathe in. Breathe out.
[PHOTOS REMOVED]
Telling Nee-Nee all about it. Note the sticker chart above him.
[PHOTOS REMOVED]
Look at that face!
My biggest frustration is when I ask him if he needs to use the potty, and he says no, and then has an accident minutes/seconds later. But I wonder how much of that is just him learning his body. At that second, it was a no, and maybe 2 seconds later it turns into a yes. Still, I think we're getting the hang of things. We have to accept that there will still be accidents and regardless of the hype, potty training is an ongoing process, not a 3 day event. I was scared to start potty training. I really wanted to put it off, but he was showing signs, and I know I had to take advantage of that. Yes, it's hard, but it's not as horrible as I thought it would be. I'm not sure what I imagined, but I think whole rooms sprayed with pee and smeared with poop were somewhere in the picture. I think the emotional toll is the hardest. It's just one more sign that my little guy is growing up. I'm conflicted. I can't decide if I want it to slow down or speed up!!
Monday, August 16, 2010
Potty Training, Day 2
What I've learned so far:
One of the methods I studied said when we start potty training, we shouldn't make any exceptions for naps or bedtime. That we should use underpants then too, and deal with the consequences, since that's how they learn. Well, Oliver has never woken up with a dry diaper overnight, and only a few times at naps. So I wrote that off as too hard core for us, and put him in diapers for naps and bedtime. Turns out, he could have been in underpants last night! When he woke up, we snuggled for a few minutes, then he started walking to the door. I asked him if we could change his pants before we went downstairs, and he just kept walking into his bathroom where Dad was brushing his teeth, and asked to pee. He filled that potty up! Hooray, we have bladder control!!!!
The morning went well. He peed twice in a row on the potty without any accidents. Then I got on the phone. My mistake. He was busy watching YouTube videos, which he can now point and click to change them on his own (!), and I was chatting away on the couch, away from the computer so I could hear. A few minutes later I walked over to check on him, and he was sitting in a puddle, on the (rented!) dining room chair. Ran him to the potty, where he peed some more. This kid drinks too much, I swear. I've never seen so much pee come out in a 2 hour period. Cleaned up that mess, and the rest of the morning we only had 2 little wet spots on his underpants from dribbling, and no more accidents. Linsey and Annabelle came over for a while, and there was lots of obsession with the potty by both kids, but he only peed on the potty once while they were here and no more after that. I guess he got it all out. Seriously, from 10:30 to 2:00, he did not pee. Aren't you impressed? And when I went to put him down for a nap, he said he didn't need to go. So was I brave and put him in underpants for his nap? Heck no! I'm not crazy! The kid hasn't peed in 3.5 hours! Something's got to come out soon! So you bet I slapped that diaper right on.
He woke up from his nap with a wet diaper, and while we sat upstairs playing for the next hour, I left it on him. I'd say, "Let's put your underpants on," and he'd reply with an emphatic "No." I definitely got the feeling that he was getting tired of all this. Finally, we got them on and went downstairs. A little bit later, he was showing some signs that he might need to pee, so we went in to sit on the potty. Nothing. But he wanted a sticker anyway. Very badly. So he had a big tantrum in the kitchen, near the cabinet where I keep the stickers. Big tantrum. So Marty and I just repeated that he'd get a sticker when he actually peed or pooped on the potty. Tantrum continued, so we just tried ignoring it. Didn't I learn my lesson yesterday? Never ignore a tantrum during potty training!!! Marty went into the kitchen, and sure enough, there was a big pile of pee on the laminate floor. Hey, better than on the carpet! I can't decide if he was so upset that he lost control of his bodily functions, or if he was so mad at us he decided to pee on the floor in retaliation. I'm sure it was the first, but there's a tiny part of me that wonders if it was the latter.
Things were pretty uneventful for a while until after dinner. I desperately wanted a shower, and was finally getting a chance to run upstairs to get one while he and Marty played. Unfortunately, Oliver's in a phase where he only wants Mommy, so he got upset. I went anyway because he usually gets over it in a few minutes. He peed on the tablecloth we keep on the floor around and under his high chair. Hey, better than on the carpet! Marty said he took him to the potty, where he then also pooped, only to miss the chair and hit the floor instead. I guess I picked the perfect time for a shower!
So overall, not as many successes today, but not near as many accidents either. I think that's progress. No, I was not brave enough to try underpants for bedtime. We'll stick with diapers until I know it's not a fluke.
I'm starting to question the whole sticker as a reward thing. Maybe because stickers are still such a novelty to him, he's too obsessed to understand that they are a reward. I actually thought that would work to our advantage. But the more I think about it, I'm pretty sure he does understand, but because he's two, he wants it anyway and will try throwing a tantrum until he gets his way. I do think the sticker is motivating, so I'm not sure what else to try. I did not want to do M&Ms or jellybeans or a food item like some books recommend. I just don't think it's wise to use food as a reward like that. Oh well, I certainly can't take the sticker motivation away now, because he'd see that as punishment, which we don't want him to associate with potty training.
Tomorrow we'll be out a lot in the morning, so not as much focused attention on the potty training, but I think that will be good for both of us. We need a break; this is intense!
- Diapers are easy, and underpants are hard. Aren't diapers just so easy? Sure, they stink up the diaper pail (ours has been sitting outside on the balcony for the past year), and cost too much, but boy, are they easy. You can sit and watch tv, play with toys, go and make breakfast, talk on the phone, and just hang out, without giving your son's bodily functions a second thought. Get a whiff of something, pull out a new one, slap it on, and you're good to go! Underpants are hard. I've never stared at my son's penis so much. I'm either looking for leaks on his underpants or watching him on the potty to see if he actually pees instead of just sits. I swear, he's starting to get a complex. I'm waiting to hear, "Mooooooommeeeeee, stop looking at it!"
- He was more ready for this milestone than we gave him credit for. This has been true of all the big ones, really. I agonized over giving up the bottle, so sure he would hate me forever and never sleep well again. I was wrong. He barely noticed. Same with switching to whole milk, giving up the pacifier, and more recently, moving to the big boy bed. With every milestone, he's taken it all in stride, while I was filled with anxiety. He is definitely more ready to grow up than I am for him to do it.
- I can actually appreciate living in this corporate apartment. While I am quick to clean up any accidents as soon as I can, there is some comfort in knowing that this is not my carpet or my furniture that is getting soaked.
One of the methods I studied said when we start potty training, we shouldn't make any exceptions for naps or bedtime. That we should use underpants then too, and deal with the consequences, since that's how they learn. Well, Oliver has never woken up with a dry diaper overnight, and only a few times at naps. So I wrote that off as too hard core for us, and put him in diapers for naps and bedtime. Turns out, he could have been in underpants last night! When he woke up, we snuggled for a few minutes, then he started walking to the door. I asked him if we could change his pants before we went downstairs, and he just kept walking into his bathroom where Dad was brushing his teeth, and asked to pee. He filled that potty up! Hooray, we have bladder control!!!!
The morning went well. He peed twice in a row on the potty without any accidents. Then I got on the phone. My mistake. He was busy watching YouTube videos, which he can now point and click to change them on his own (!), and I was chatting away on the couch, away from the computer so I could hear. A few minutes later I walked over to check on him, and he was sitting in a puddle, on the (rented!) dining room chair. Ran him to the potty, where he peed some more. This kid drinks too much, I swear. I've never seen so much pee come out in a 2 hour period. Cleaned up that mess, and the rest of the morning we only had 2 little wet spots on his underpants from dribbling, and no more accidents. Linsey and Annabelle came over for a while, and there was lots of obsession with the potty by both kids, but he only peed on the potty once while they were here and no more after that. I guess he got it all out. Seriously, from 10:30 to 2:00, he did not pee. Aren't you impressed? And when I went to put him down for a nap, he said he didn't need to go. So was I brave and put him in underpants for his nap? Heck no! I'm not crazy! The kid hasn't peed in 3.5 hours! Something's got to come out soon! So you bet I slapped that diaper right on.
[PHOTO REMOVED]
You know I had to get an underpants shot today. Here he is hanging out with his favorite girl.
Things were pretty uneventful for a while until after dinner. I desperately wanted a shower, and was finally getting a chance to run upstairs to get one while he and Marty played. Unfortunately, Oliver's in a phase where he only wants Mommy, so he got upset. I went anyway because he usually gets over it in a few minutes. He peed on the tablecloth we keep on the floor around and under his high chair. Hey, better than on the carpet! Marty said he took him to the potty, where he then also pooped, only to miss the chair and hit the floor instead. I guess I picked the perfect time for a shower!
So overall, not as many successes today, but not near as many accidents either. I think that's progress. No, I was not brave enough to try underpants for bedtime. We'll stick with diapers until I know it's not a fluke.
I'm starting to question the whole sticker as a reward thing. Maybe because stickers are still such a novelty to him, he's too obsessed to understand that they are a reward. I actually thought that would work to our advantage. But the more I think about it, I'm pretty sure he does understand, but because he's two, he wants it anyway and will try throwing a tantrum until he gets his way. I do think the sticker is motivating, so I'm not sure what else to try. I did not want to do M&Ms or jellybeans or a food item like some books recommend. I just don't think it's wise to use food as a reward like that. Oh well, I certainly can't take the sticker motivation away now, because he'd see that as punishment, which we don't want him to associate with potty training.
Tomorrow we'll be out a lot in the morning, so not as much focused attention on the potty training, but I think that will be good for both of us. We need a break; this is intense!
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Potty Training, Day 1
Warning: this entry will contain far too many uses of the words 'pee,' 'poop,' and 'underpants.'
I knew it wasn't going to be easy. I didn't know it was going to be so exhausting! I'm so tired, I can barely write this, but I want to remember how we did today, so that as we progress in this (and we will!), I can look back and see how far we've come. Overall, Oliver did pretty well, better than I expected. It didn't start out very promising, but by the end of the day, there was some definite progress.
I was fully prepared. We've had a potty seat since he was 15 months old, on the recommendation of our pediatrician. He told us to put him on it, say at bath time every night, so he'd get used to it. That way, when the time comes to really potty train, he wouldn't be afraid. He'd pee on it every now and then, more by accident and the fact that he had a free penis more than anything I think. We also bought a 2nd (Elmo) potty seat a few months ago. Yes, Elmo. Elmo gives you a high five when you succeed, and says things like "You're growing up, just like Elmo!" and "Elmo is so proud of you!" And we got a seat adapter (Sesame Street) for the toilet, so he can use the "big boy potty" too. We got an "incentive chart" and stickers, also Sesame Street. Yes, I like my potty training equipment to match. We got Pull Ups and cotton training pants and big boy underpants that he picked out himself. Sadly, not Sesame Street underpants. They were out of those. But we got Thomas, and a Disney variety pack. It only bothers me a little bit that they don't match the Sesame Street theme we've got going on. I'll get over it. I even got carpet cleaner for pet stains. I had studied too. I read books and websites, and pamphlets. Yes, I was prepared.
We were awakened this morning at 6:30. Can someone tell me when they start sleeping until noon and you have to drag them out of bed? Because I'd like that to start soon. Especially on a Sunday. Oh well, more time to potty train! I was eager with anticipation and hopeful that he'd take to it just like that. We took off the overnight diaper, and put on a pair of cotton training pants. I told him he should try to keep his "big boy underpants" dry, and to let mommy or daddy know when he needed to pee or poop. He was excited about his big boy underpants. He looked so cute in them too. No, I did not take any photos. I know, I always take photos. Not today. The one moment I finally thought of it turned into a pee emergency and the camera never made a return appearance. Maybe tomorrow.
So we went downstairs, and I showed him the sticker chart, and told him that if he peed or pooped on the potty, he'd get a sticker, and when he got 3 stickers, he'd get a special new toy. I had him sit on the potty, but nothing. Then we went into the living room, and he got out his 2 potty themed books to read. Aw, like mother, like son--he wants to study too! Maybe it inspired him, because it wasn't long before he peed. In his training pants. No big deal, accidents happen. We talked about not getting the underpants wet, tried the potty again with no results, and put on pair #2.
Soon he wanted breakfast. As I was making it, he played happily in his cabinet in the kitchen, sometimes crawling inside as he often does. As I'm finishing cutting up the fruit, I thought I smelled something. A bad peach? Then he comes out of his cabinet, and sure enough, there's a lump in the back of his training pants. So we rush to the bathroom, we put it in the potty together, and talk about keeping his underpants dry and clean. Sit on the potty again, no results, and put on pair #3.
Soon Dad was home from his run, and I went upstairs to start some laundry. I came back to them changing his training pants (#4), and cleaning a spot on the carpet. Still didn't pee on the potty. But he told Dad his pants were wet this time!! This is good!! This is progress.
The next accident happened during a time out (he was hitting me, I forget why). I felt bad about that one, because he was calling for me, but I was ignoring him as I'm supposed to during a time out. One of my books said not to do time outs or punishment during training because it creates a negative atmosphere. When I read that I rolled my eyes and said "Whatever." They should have simply said, "Don't do time outs during training because they will pee in their time out corner." On to training pants #5. In need of a break, Mommy went out for a quick grocery store trip while Dad handled things.
Training pants #6 came along after another "I'm too busy playing to notice my bodily functions" accident. In between all of this time, we are constantly asking him if his underpants are dry and praising him when they are, and reminding him to let us know when he needs to pee or poop. Anytime he starts playing with himself, we hurry him to the potty to see if he needs to go. One of us sits on the big potty while he sits on the little one. This is exhausting. He is getting frustrated. At one point, Marty took him swimming just to give him (and us) a break from it all. We ran out of training pants and moved on to the "big boy underpants" A few times, he got them just a little wet, so we'd go to the potty and try to get him to finish in there.
Finally, it happened. After one of those times, I took him to the potty, and he sat down and just peed. Now, he'd done it in the past, but only before bath time. But this was the first time during potty training. Just when I was starting to get really frustrated and give up hope that he was ready. So we got very excited, he was thrilled. We dumped it in the big potty, he flushed, he got a sticker, he gave Elmo a high five, and he ran to find Dad to tell him. Did he tell Dad he peed on the potty? No, he told him he got a sticker. Cute, right? Yeah, until the stickers became an obsession, but that happens later.
Lunchtime and a few more accidents later, we put him back in a diaper and down for a nap. And we collapsed on the sofa. Who knew this would be so exhausting? All the checking of the underwear and hurrying to the potty, and washing hands, and the "You only get a sticker when you pee or poop in the potty. Sitting on the potty for 2 seconds does not qualify" tantrums. Marty and I sat on the sofa and wondered if maybe he's just not ready after all. He doesn't seem to understand how to read his body's signals to pee. But we decided we had to give it a try for a few more days and give him a chance to learn.
We would have loved a long nap, but no, he woke up after barely over an hour. I left his diaper on for a little bit as he woke up. We played with stuffed animals and then he put them all in his crib and then sat among them. I changed the laundry and came back in only to find that he had peed out his diaper. He wasn't even in underpants!! One side had gotten loose, probably from rolling around in his crib, and so needless to say, I had another load of sheets to do. So we put on underpants and went downstairs to keep working at it.
The afternoon went much better. We still had a few accidents, but he wanted to try the potty more, and succeeded another time. He did, however, become obsessed with the stickers. He just couldn't grasp the concept that they were rewards. He kept going in to sit on the potty, then get off after only a few seconds and saying "Sticker!" He thought he'd get one just for sitting. He wanted them all, and kept throwing tantrums when he couldn't have them. Or he'd try the big potty (with the adapter). But I stuck to my guns, and just kept telling him he'd get one when he peed or pooped in the potty. I was tired of the game, and after the 3rd time in as many minutes of running to the potty for a 2 second sit, I lost it and actually groused at him about it, only to immediately feel guilty and follow him into the bathroom one more time. Wouldn't you know, that's when he peed and pooped on the big potty!! Sorry to get graphic here, but when he heard his poop plop in the water, you should have seen the excitement on his face! And the surprise on mine, because I was sure he was crying wolf again. So yes, I felt really bad for giving him a hard time. Of course it's a learning experience for us both. It was sticker #3, so he got a "special toy," some little blocks from the Dollar Spot at Target.
It wasn't perfect after that. We still had a few more accidents, but he had 6 stickers on his chart total for the day. At the end of the night, as he was getting ready for bath with Dad, he peed on the potty. While he's done that before, it seems like this time was more purposeful than accidental. And it gave me a little hope that maybe we're on the right track.
I've read that Day 2 often brings a regression, as they get tired of your constant badgering. I could tell he was tired of it today, as tired as I was of doing it. But it's supposed to be a rainy day, so what else have we got to do anyway? It won't be as easy without Marty's help, but I know we'll survive. Warning: there may be another post about this subject. What can I say, this is my life.
I knew it wasn't going to be easy. I didn't know it was going to be so exhausting! I'm so tired, I can barely write this, but I want to remember how we did today, so that as we progress in this (and we will!), I can look back and see how far we've come. Overall, Oliver did pretty well, better than I expected. It didn't start out very promising, but by the end of the day, there was some definite progress.
I was fully prepared. We've had a potty seat since he was 15 months old, on the recommendation of our pediatrician. He told us to put him on it, say at bath time every night, so he'd get used to it. That way, when the time comes to really potty train, he wouldn't be afraid. He'd pee on it every now and then, more by accident and the fact that he had a free penis more than anything I think. We also bought a 2nd (Elmo) potty seat a few months ago. Yes, Elmo. Elmo gives you a high five when you succeed, and says things like "You're growing up, just like Elmo!" and "Elmo is so proud of you!" And we got a seat adapter (Sesame Street) for the toilet, so he can use the "big boy potty" too. We got an "incentive chart" and stickers, also Sesame Street. Yes, I like my potty training equipment to match. We got Pull Ups and cotton training pants and big boy underpants that he picked out himself. Sadly, not Sesame Street underpants. They were out of those. But we got Thomas, and a Disney variety pack. It only bothers me a little bit that they don't match the Sesame Street theme we've got going on. I'll get over it. I even got carpet cleaner for pet stains. I had studied too. I read books and websites, and pamphlets. Yes, I was prepared.
We were awakened this morning at 6:30. Can someone tell me when they start sleeping until noon and you have to drag them out of bed? Because I'd like that to start soon. Especially on a Sunday. Oh well, more time to potty train! I was eager with anticipation and hopeful that he'd take to it just like that. We took off the overnight diaper, and put on a pair of cotton training pants. I told him he should try to keep his "big boy underpants" dry, and to let mommy or daddy know when he needed to pee or poop. He was excited about his big boy underpants. He looked so cute in them too. No, I did not take any photos. I know, I always take photos. Not today. The one moment I finally thought of it turned into a pee emergency and the camera never made a return appearance. Maybe tomorrow.
So we went downstairs, and I showed him the sticker chart, and told him that if he peed or pooped on the potty, he'd get a sticker, and when he got 3 stickers, he'd get a special new toy. I had him sit on the potty, but nothing. Then we went into the living room, and he got out his 2 potty themed books to read. Aw, like mother, like son--he wants to study too! Maybe it inspired him, because it wasn't long before he peed. In his training pants. No big deal, accidents happen. We talked about not getting the underpants wet, tried the potty again with no results, and put on pair #2.
Soon he wanted breakfast. As I was making it, he played happily in his cabinet in the kitchen, sometimes crawling inside as he often does. As I'm finishing cutting up the fruit, I thought I smelled something. A bad peach? Then he comes out of his cabinet, and sure enough, there's a lump in the back of his training pants. So we rush to the bathroom, we put it in the potty together, and talk about keeping his underpants dry and clean. Sit on the potty again, no results, and put on pair #3.
Soon Dad was home from his run, and I went upstairs to start some laundry. I came back to them changing his training pants (#4), and cleaning a spot on the carpet. Still didn't pee on the potty. But he told Dad his pants were wet this time!! This is good!! This is progress.
The next accident happened during a time out (he was hitting me, I forget why). I felt bad about that one, because he was calling for me, but I was ignoring him as I'm supposed to during a time out. One of my books said not to do time outs or punishment during training because it creates a negative atmosphere. When I read that I rolled my eyes and said "Whatever." They should have simply said, "Don't do time outs during training because they will pee in their time out corner." On to training pants #5. In need of a break, Mommy went out for a quick grocery store trip while Dad handled things.
Training pants #6 came along after another "I'm too busy playing to notice my bodily functions" accident. In between all of this time, we are constantly asking him if his underpants are dry and praising him when they are, and reminding him to let us know when he needs to pee or poop. Anytime he starts playing with himself, we hurry him to the potty to see if he needs to go. One of us sits on the big potty while he sits on the little one. This is exhausting. He is getting frustrated. At one point, Marty took him swimming just to give him (and us) a break from it all. We ran out of training pants and moved on to the "big boy underpants" A few times, he got them just a little wet, so we'd go to the potty and try to get him to finish in there.
Finally, it happened. After one of those times, I took him to the potty, and he sat down and just peed. Now, he'd done it in the past, but only before bath time. But this was the first time during potty training. Just when I was starting to get really frustrated and give up hope that he was ready. So we got very excited, he was thrilled. We dumped it in the big potty, he flushed, he got a sticker, he gave Elmo a high five, and he ran to find Dad to tell him. Did he tell Dad he peed on the potty? No, he told him he got a sticker. Cute, right? Yeah, until the stickers became an obsession, but that happens later.
Lunchtime and a few more accidents later, we put him back in a diaper and down for a nap. And we collapsed on the sofa. Who knew this would be so exhausting? All the checking of the underwear and hurrying to the potty, and washing hands, and the "You only get a sticker when you pee or poop in the potty. Sitting on the potty for 2 seconds does not qualify" tantrums. Marty and I sat on the sofa and wondered if maybe he's just not ready after all. He doesn't seem to understand how to read his body's signals to pee. But we decided we had to give it a try for a few more days and give him a chance to learn.
We would have loved a long nap, but no, he woke up after barely over an hour. I left his diaper on for a little bit as he woke up. We played with stuffed animals and then he put them all in his crib and then sat among them. I changed the laundry and came back in only to find that he had peed out his diaper. He wasn't even in underpants!! One side had gotten loose, probably from rolling around in his crib, and so needless to say, I had another load of sheets to do. So we put on underpants and went downstairs to keep working at it.
The afternoon went much better. We still had a few accidents, but he wanted to try the potty more, and succeeded another time. He did, however, become obsessed with the stickers. He just couldn't grasp the concept that they were rewards. He kept going in to sit on the potty, then get off after only a few seconds and saying "Sticker!" He thought he'd get one just for sitting. He wanted them all, and kept throwing tantrums when he couldn't have them. Or he'd try the big potty (with the adapter). But I stuck to my guns, and just kept telling him he'd get one when he peed or pooped in the potty. I was tired of the game, and after the 3rd time in as many minutes of running to the potty for a 2 second sit, I lost it and actually groused at him about it, only to immediately feel guilty and follow him into the bathroom one more time. Wouldn't you know, that's when he peed and pooped on the big potty!! Sorry to get graphic here, but when he heard his poop plop in the water, you should have seen the excitement on his face! And the surprise on mine, because I was sure he was crying wolf again. So yes, I felt really bad for giving him a hard time. Of course it's a learning experience for us both. It was sticker #3, so he got a "special toy," some little blocks from the Dollar Spot at Target.
It wasn't perfect after that. We still had a few more accidents, but he had 6 stickers on his chart total for the day. At the end of the night, as he was getting ready for bath with Dad, he peed on the potty. While he's done that before, it seems like this time was more purposeful than accidental. And it gave me a little hope that maybe we're on the right track.
I've read that Day 2 often brings a regression, as they get tired of your constant badgering. I could tell he was tired of it today, as tired as I was of doing it. But it's supposed to be a rainy day, so what else have we got to do anyway? It won't be as easy without Marty's help, but I know we'll survive. Warning: there may be another post about this subject. What can I say, this is my life.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Photo Friday--A week in review
I know, I know, you're tired of just Photo Fridays. Well, tough. I'll get back to real blogging soon enough. Think of it as my own summer break. In the meantime, more cuteness from last week's activities . . .
So, if you have any potty training tips at all, I'd love to hear them!!
Checking out the sights at the Potato and Corn Festival
A tractor, just his size
On the Merry Go Round, his favorite, of course
Ordering Dad around
Riding Dad around
At the baseball game (New Britain Rockcats, minor league), after enjoying a red Italian Ice.
Getting his haircut, without protest!!!!!!!
Showing off the frog tattoo he got for being such a big boy about getting his hair cut.
And, coming soon . . .
Potty Training! Ackkkkkkkk!!!!!
So, if you have any potty training tips at all, I'd love to hear them!!
Friday, August 6, 2010
Monday, August 2, 2010
A Beautiful Wedding
The sister of my neighbor Linsey (mother of sweet Annabelle, Oliver's friend) was getting married and in need of a photographer. I am not a professional photographer. Heck, I'm barely an amateur! But she had seen some photos I'd taken previously, and in a bit of last minute desperation, hired me to shoot her wedding. I made sure expectations were very low, and agreed. If nothing else, I said I'll take a ton of photos, and with my fancy camera, surely a few were bound to come out pretty good.
The wedding was Saturday, and I must say, I was honored to be their photographer. The day was beautiful, the location was gorgeous, and the couple and their guests were delightful. It isn't hard to take good pictures when so much love and joy fills the air.
Here is just a tiny sampling of the 1005 (yes, that's one thousand and five!) photographs I took of Darcy and Arlene's wedding day. I had to compress the photos to get them in my blog, so the quality is not as good as the original files, but if you click on them to see them larger, you'll get a bit of a better idea.
Bride Darcy getting ready
The wedding was Saturday, and I must say, I was honored to be their photographer. The day was beautiful, the location was gorgeous, and the couple and their guests were delightful. It isn't hard to take good pictures when so much love and joy fills the air.
Here is just a tiny sampling of the 1005 (yes, that's one thousand and five!) photographs I took of Darcy and Arlene's wedding day. I had to compress the photos to get them in my blog, so the quality is not as good as the original files, but if you click on them to see them larger, you'll get a bit of a better idea.
Thimble Islands, Connecticut. The wedding was on one of these amazing islands in the Long Island Sound (not the one pictured here). They are these tiny little islands, some of them with just one house, some with a few.
Reception tables
Place cards and flip flops
Programs
Annabelle, giving me a look.
The bouquets
The couple's first moment seeing each other all dressed for the wedding.
The dog got dressed for the wedding too!
Ceremony
Portraits of the happy couple
Darcy and her sister Linsey (my neighbor, Annabelle's mommy)
The wedding party and guests on the porch
The "replacement" cake (the first one got dropped on the barge!)
The traditional bride and bride cake topper
Congratulations to Darcy and Arlene! Thank you again for including me in your day!
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