Thursday, January 7, 2010


I've always felt that New Year's Resolutions are just a set up for failure, so I haven't really made any in years. However, I do think that stepping back and taking a look at your life every once in a while is a good thing. Where you've been . . . where you're going. Now that I'm writing this blog, this type of exercise feels quite appropriate. We have gone through a lot of changes in the past year, and I have the unique opportunity to choose a lot about what my future holds for the next year or so. This will probably consist of a lot of rambling random thoughts, but one thing I'm learning is that this is for me first, and I'm ok with that.

2009 was quite the year for us. It wasn't bad. I know many people who had a truly bad year. Ours was just . . . challenging. For months, we knew the "temporary" move to Connecticut was probably going to happen, but it took forever to get a final answer from the company on it. That was stressful, not knowing your future. Oliver went into daycare full time while I worked, resulting in far too many illnesses and ear infections, and finally, ear tubes. I was teaching the Picasso course that was incredibly time intensive. Especially when you have a sick toddler. Marty was working on his MBA and very busy, leaving Oliver & I on our own many nights. Then of course, the move itself and the significant transition that was for all of us. And finally, trying to figure out who I was as a stay-at-home-mom at the age of 41.

Not that there weren't good points. Watching Oliver grow from a 9 month old to a 21 month old was just amazing. Every month I'd say, "This is my favorite age." I'm still saying it. We did a lot of traveling and really enjoyed exploring this part of the country. We always have fun seeing family on our vacations and when they visited Connecticut. The Picasso class, wow, while it was incredibly demanding, I can also look back on it and be very proud of myself for pulling it off. I'm still sick of Picasso and will run screaming out of any Picasso room in any museum we visit (which exists in, pretty much, every museum in the world). Maybe someday I'll get back to appreciating him. I don't tend to get very political on this blog, but the inauguration of Barack Obama was definitely a high point. The way our country came together and celebrated that event was something I'll never forget. Unfortunately, it seems half our country has already forgotten. And that's as political as I'll get.

I'm learning that life is what you make of it. I am not just a stay-at-home-mom. I have a very important job. Everyone hates their job sometimes. But I'm learning to live in the moment and treasure them all, because I know this is a special opportunity that I am lucky to have. Some days, each hour is what you make of it. If I am excited to read that alphabet book again because I can see how much it is helping my son learn his ABC's, then sure, hand it over! But if I'm sick, tired, or just plain sick of that alphabet book, reading it one more time is almost painful. I know you can't always choose your mood, but sometimes the power of positive thinking really does turn a crappy day into a decent one. I think the first few months of my stay-at-home-mom adventure I allowed myself to get frustrated so easily, which led to some unhappy days. But the past few months I know we have turned a corner and are making the most of each day.

So now for my list. Call them Resolutions or just a To Do list, whatever. They're just some ideas, some old, some new.

Things I'm going to do in 2010
  • Lose weight (It's always at the top of the list!), which includes exercise more
  • Give up wine. Maybe completely, we'll see how it goes when I lose weight. My acid reflux has been so bad lately, and it almost always happens when I've had wine. I can't stand it anymore. Side benefit: it might help in that whole losing weight thing.
  • Explore new ways to teach Oliver. It's so amazing how fast he is learning things these days. He knows all his shapes. He knows his numbers 1-9 (nine is his favorite). He knows many letters and tries to sing the alphabet song. I want to take advantage of his sponginess (is that a word?) and give him more to soak up. I want to make sure I'm doing everything I can. No, I don't want to be one of those psycho moms whose kids can do algebra in kindergarten. I just want to make sure I'm doing my job the best that I can, and my job is to raise a happy, kind, smart, productive member of society. 
  • Find something for me. If you haven't noticed, I'm a bit Oliver-centric lately. It's part of the job. I can't just "leave it at the office." Part of being a stay-at-home-mom and having a toddler is losing a little of who you used to be. I'm going to try to find something, maybe a class of some sort, to find a little bit of me again. Not an academic class, but a fun class, like pottery or knitting or painting or something.
  • Blog more. Maybe not even so much as more often, but more variety, and more thoughts. I don't want it just to be a reporting of events, though I value that now as a record of Oliver's growing up. I wish I had started it when he was a baby. So that will still be there. But I want it to be more . . . something . . . we'll see.
It won't happen all at once, so don't expect miracles. I might have a few more ideas in my head, but I think I'll keep them there. Gotta keep a few things just for me.

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